Comments on: For Parents: Sweetie, what’s wrong? http://blog.anniefox.com/2008/07/25/sweetie-whats-wrong/ Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:44:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Mrsp http://blog.anniefox.com/2008/07/25/sweetie-whats-wrong/comment-page-1/#comment-19200 Mrsp Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:56:11 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=30#comment-19200 I have a14 year old daughter and a 12 year old daughter. For myself and my husband we make it clear to the girls that it is our duty to ensure they are safe and well. In our house this includes being what they might call mosey and insisting that we know what's happening in their lives. I think it's important to always insist that the lines of communication stay open. Don't accept that it has to close because they are older. That way they trust you and see you as a source of comfort no matter what age I have a14 year old daughter and a 12 year old daughter. For myself and my husband we make it clear to the girls that it is our duty to ensure they are safe and well. In our house this includes being what they might call mosey and insisting that we know what’s happening in their lives. I think it’s important to always insist that the lines of communication stay open. Don’t accept that it has to close because they are older. That way they trust you and see you as a source of comfort no matter what age

]]> By: Twitted by AldridgeDuff http://blog.anniefox.com/2008/07/25/sweetie-whats-wrong/comment-page-1/#comment-9770 Twitted by AldridgeDuff Mon, 24 Aug 2009 01:29:34 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=30#comment-9770 [...] This post was Twitted by AldridgeDuff [...] [...] This post was Twitted by AldridgeDuff [...]

]]> By: Annie http://blog.anniefox.com/2008/07/25/sweetie-whats-wrong/comment-page-1/#comment-18 Annie Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:34:32 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=30#comment-18 Brilliant, Diana! You've discovered something that many parents miss. And by missing it they a) miss opportunities to help their kids and b) suffer from hurt and rejected in the process. You've learned that <a href="http://www.anniefox.com/parents/parents_9-06.html" rel="nofollow">real help</a> isn't about your need to be needed and appreciated for the help you're offering,. It's about tuning into your child's needs and customizing your approach to meet them. By being the willing "student" for a lesson in sit-ups, you have selflessly provided comfort, support and a listening ear in a way that can be accepted without the teen losing face. Brava! Brilliant, Diana! You’ve discovered something that many parents miss. And by missing it they a) miss opportunities to help their kids and b) suffer from hurt and rejected in the process.

You’ve learned that real help isn’t about your need to be needed and appreciated for the help you’re offering,. It’s about tuning into your child’s needs and customizing your approach to meet them. By being the willing “student” for a lesson in sit-ups, you have selflessly provided comfort, support and a listening ear in a way that can be accepted without the teen losing face. Brava!

]]> By: Diana http://blog.anniefox.com/2008/07/25/sweetie-whats-wrong/comment-page-1/#comment-17 Diana Sun, 03 Aug 2008 14:36:05 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=30#comment-17 I once heard that you simply need to love your children through their teen years, whether they appear to want it or not. With my 15-year-old son, I've found that when we're alone, tossing a football, shooting baskets or letting him show me how to do a better sit up, he'll open up and talk. We have to be doing something physical, so when he's down and not talking I grab a ball. My 10-year-old daughter needs a soft hug and cuddling to open up. I think the key is not to walk away when they tell you to do so. If I give them the opening to talk in the style they need, my two will open up. I once heard that you simply need to love your children through their teen years, whether they appear to want it or not. With my 15-year-old son, I’ve found that when we’re alone, tossing a football, shooting baskets or letting him show me how to do a better sit up, he’ll open up and talk. We have to be doing something physical, so when he’s down and not talking I grab a ball. My 10-year-old daughter needs a soft hug and cuddling to open up. I think the key is not to walk away when they tell you to do so. If I give them the opening to talk in the style they need, my two will open up.

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