Comments on: Desperately Seeking a (new) Boyfriend http://blog.anniefox.com/2010/03/10/desperately-seeking-a-new-boyfriend/ Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century. Thu, 19 Aug 2010 02:28:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Jeffrey Rinek http://blog.anniefox.com/2010/03/10/desperately-seeking-a-new-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-13521 Jeffrey Rinek Fri, 12 Mar 2010 03:00:28 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=3045#comment-13521 Hello Desperate Dina, My name is Jeff Rinek, and I read your posting because of a tweet I saw from Annie Fox. You can research my name to verify who I am and why I am writing you. First of all, I hate to hear you describe yourself as desperate. In my mind desperation reflects someone trying to chase the last pangs of hope. Usually those people are alone, with no one who cares. I can tell from Annie's site that you are not alone, and people do care. It is important to understand that you assess yourself by two criteria. First, you consider your value, and secondly, you consider your responsibility. If you feel responsible for the breakup, don't. If you feel the breakup reflects your value, again, don't do that. The simple reality that you are on this site, trying to find help, and to factor considerations into your decision itself speaks to your value, and especially to your responsibility, in a great way. It doesn't take a boy, or anyone else for you to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself comes from you, then you become the leader and others will follow. If you act as if you have no value, people will treat you accordingly. Responsibility means recognizing what you have done right, along with learning from your mistakes. Your search for advice, and personal reflection are all exemplary signs of value. The world is a wonderful place when you assume control over yourself and your environment. If you end up with a boy as a default, then your are simply settling for something less than you want, and that is not what you should be about. You deserve someone who has value to contribute to you, and who recognizes your value. Nothing less will work. Please value yourself, take care of yourself, realize that you have control and don't have to settle for anything not reflecting your value. If you had a child would you want them to settle for something less. Would you give your child anything than was not the best. Treat yourself as you would treat a child. You are worth it. Sincerely, Jeff Rinek Hello Desperate Dina, My name is Jeff Rinek, and I read your posting because of a tweet I saw from Annie Fox. You can research my name to verify who I am and why I am writing you. First of all, I hate to hear you describe yourself as desperate. In my mind desperation reflects someone trying to chase the last pangs of hope. Usually those people are alone, with no one who cares. I can tell from Annie’s site that you are not alone, and people do care. It is important to understand that you assess yourself by two criteria. First, you consider your value, and secondly, you consider your responsibility. If you feel responsible for the breakup, don’t. If you feel the breakup reflects your value, again, don’t do that. The simple reality that you are on this site, trying to find help, and to factor considerations into your decision itself speaks to your value, and especially to your responsibility, in a great way. It doesn’t take a boy, or anyone else for you to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself comes from you, then you become the leader and others will follow. If you act as if you have no value, people will treat you accordingly. Responsibility means recognizing what you have done right, along with learning from your mistakes. Your search for advice, and personal reflection are all exemplary signs of value. The world is a wonderful place when you assume control over yourself and your environment. If you end up with a boy as a default, then your are simply settling for something less than you want, and that is not what you should be about. You deserve someone who has value to contribute to you, and who recognizes your value. Nothing less will work. Please value yourself, take care of yourself, realize that you have control and don’t have to settle for anything not reflecting your value. If you had a child would you want them to settle for something less. Would you give your child anything than was not the best. Treat yourself as you would treat a child. You are worth it. Sincerely, Jeff Rinek

]]> By: Tamaryn http://blog.anniefox.com/2010/03/10/desperately-seeking-a-new-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-13516 Tamaryn Thu, 11 Mar 2010 20:55:58 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=3045#comment-13516 One thing I would suggest to Dina is that she should put herself in more situations to build up her own awareness of herself. Like doing more school plays or maybe taking a public speaking class if it's offered. The stage is a great way to learn more about yourself and feel what it's like to be vulnerable in front of people (an audience) in a safe way. I'd also suggest that with this new boy she focus on building a friendship. It's not good to rush into anything romantically, but you can never have too many good friends! One thing I would suggest to Dina is that she should put herself in more situations to build up her own awareness of herself. Like doing more school plays or maybe taking a public speaking class if it’s offered.

The stage is a great way to learn more about yourself and feel what it’s like to be vulnerable in front of people (an audience) in a safe way.

I’d also suggest that with this new boy she focus on building a friendship. It’s not good to rush into anything romantically, but you can never have too many good friends!

]]> By: KicksLikeAGirl http://blog.anniefox.com/2010/03/10/desperately-seeking-a-new-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-13512 KicksLikeAGirl Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:21:58 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=3045#comment-13512 Thanks for tweeting this link to me. While at this point in my life this seems very straight forward, I know when I was younger, boys and being liked nearly defined my self esteem. I'm glad you were able to give her good advice and that she listened and exercised good judgment. Thanks for tweeting this link to me. While at this point in my life this seems very straight forward, I know when I was younger, boys and being liked nearly defined my self esteem. I’m glad you were able to give her good advice and that she listened and exercised good judgment.

]]> By: Andye http://blog.anniefox.com/2010/03/10/desperately-seeking-a-new-boyfriend/comment-page-1/#comment-13509 Andye Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:09:17 +0000 http://blog.anniefox.com/?p=3045#comment-13509 I love to see girls being taught not to have their self-worth caught up in boys and having a boyfriend! Great post! I love to see girls being taught not to have their self-worth caught up in boys and having a boyfriend! Great post!

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