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February 12, 2014
Confession time. My name is Annie and I’m a figure skating illiterate. No matter how many Winter Games I devour, I’ll never get the difference between a triple toe loop, sow cow, lutz or twizzle. Who cares? I’m hooked on all of the single skating events. Short. Long. Free. But when it comes to pairs… Wow! You get twice the beauty and fifty times the danger. Knife sharp blades this close to a serene face. Head with precious brain this close to rock hard ice. And don’t slip past the improbability of survival when a guy balancing on 3/16 inch of steel, lifts a woman (albeit it a small one) overhead with one hand! Then seconds later, he catapults her into the stratosphere, where she spins one, two, three and a half times and (hopefully) lands with grace on a few toes, all the while smiling at him and gliding backwards.
 Canadians Kirsten Moore-Towers and Dylan Moscovitch (AP) How nuts is that and when can I see more?
Because relationships are my business, that’s the filter through which I see all human interactions. So when I’m watching the moves on the ice, I’m asking myself: How do the skaters develop the trust they need?
 Maria Mukhortova and Maxim Trankov (2010 European Chamionships) For the women, they need to be strong, solid, flexible and totally trusting of their partner’s ability to support them. When someone is holding your body upside down over their shoulders, that’s a whole new level of support, right?
For the men, they need to be a strong, solid, flexible and totally trustworthy partner, no distractions allowed. When you are balancing someone’s body over your head, with one hand, your cell phone better not be in your pocket.
Teachable moment: How do we teach our kids that trust is a two-way street? How do we show them are trustworthy people to others and trustworthy parents to them? How do we teach our kids to be trusting and trustworthy people in their relationship with us and with their peers?
I’ll trust you to think about that for a while, then you might want to have a conversation with your children.
February 11, 2014
 Alex and Frederic Bilodeau: We are in this together (AFP) Canadian freestyle moguls skier Alex Bilodeau placed 11th in the 2006 Turino Games. His brother Frederic roared encouragement from the finish line. When the race was over and the results were in Frederic hugged Alex and said, “I love you and I’m proud of you.” In the 2010 Vancouver Games Alex won gold and Frederic delivered the same post-race message. Was Frederic thrilled at Alex’s achievement? Absolutely! Did he feel more love and pride because of the gold? No.
Last night, in Sochi, Alex killed the moguls and snagged gold again, the only person who’s ever done it twice. Frederic, catapulted over the moon, touching down long enough to hug Alex and tell him, “I love you and I’m proud of you.”
Alex and Frederic are quite a team. And the fact that Alex is a world class athletic and Frederick is an artist with cerebral palsy means nothing and everything.
Alex dedicated his gold medal to Frederic. “He lives his dreams through my eyes and for me it’s priceless to see that, to see his eyes just so big and so proud. He’s worked hard. He’s encouraged me. He’s always been with me through those four years, working hard. He’s a big part of that.”
During every event, NBC periodically cuts to the athletes’ family in the crowd, their faces burn with intense love and unconditional support. What these athletes get from their family has brought them to the Olympics. Which isn’t to say that a child cannot reach full potential without a parent’s encouragement and help. He can do it. She can do it. It’s just so much harder.
Teachable moment: Do what you can to support your children’s dreams. Make sure they are, in fact, the child’s own dreams and not a goal you’ve defined for them and pushed them toward. And whether they win a prize on “race day” or take a tumble, it really helps to hear, “I love you and I’m proud of you.”
February 10, 2014
Bode Miller was the hands down fav to win the downhill ski race at the Winter Games. He finished 8th, a slippery .52 seconds behind Matthias Mayer’s gold medal time of 2:06:23. Clear as ice crystals, Bode failed. But does that make him a failure? Nah! The guy has racked up five Olympic medals in past 15 years, along with 33 World Cup Races. Without doubt, he’s the best America ski racer of the past two decades. And yet, a half a second is damning, isn’t it? But does it have to be? Isn’t it all in your attitude and how you choose to be spun by the media? For us mortals who don’t compete on Mount Olympus, and for the young mortals in our care, life and the progress we make is about what we learn from our mistakes as well as our wins. Or not.
 Ty Walker: We’re here to have fun too, right? On the other side of the mountain, 16 year old Ty Walker came off her flubbed last chance qualifying run on slope style, looked right into the camera, shrugged impishly and laughed. You gotta love that attitude!
I don’t mean to sugar-coat a loss anywhere, especially not in the Olympics where massive amounts of personal and national pride are on the line. (And let’s not forget cash!) But when people get all whiney-nutso when they don’t get gold, something’s outta whack. Like Hannah Kearney, for example. She won gold in the 2010 Winter Games and 27 out of 37 World Cup races since then, but she was so bummed with her bronze medal in the moguls on Saturday she acted like the officials hung a 3-day old dead fish around her neck.
Teachable moment: We don’t live in Lake Wobegon where all the children are “above average.” You win some and you lose some. Buck up. Be a good sport. Try again.
February 9, 2014
Last night’s team figure skating short program was packed with teachable moments. Not all were visible on the ice.
 Ashley Wagner, “I deserve to be here.” I’ll start with the music Ashley Wagner chose. Even if you never heard of Pink Floyd, that song, Shine On You Crazy Diamond, had to have made an impression for what it wasn’t: classical or Broadway. At times haunting, heartbreakingly beautiful and defiant the song was written in 1974 as a tribute to former band member Syd Barrett who suffered from mental illness purportedly triggered by drug use. The band got to a point where they couldn’t abide by Barrett’s behavior, but they loved, respected and admired him for what he had brought to the “team.”
What’s that got to do with Ashley Wagner? I’m guessing she picked the song for its name. She’s still “shining on” despite her 4th place showing in the US Nationals last month. Coming in 4th when there are only three spots on the US Olympics team usually means you don’t move on. But the officials chose Ashley over 3rd place finisher Mirai Nagasu to represent the US in the Olympics team and the World Championship. Not everyone was thrilled for Ashley. As every tween and teen knows, when people aren’t happy with you, they try to bury you in social garbage.
But Ashley Wagner didn’t let the crap on social media bring her down. She performed brilliantly last night and because of her efforts, kept the US team’s hopes alive moving into the finals.
Teachable moment: When people hammer you for not being “deserving” don’t buy it. Do what you need to do and shine on.
 Mirai Nagasu, “I’m proud of the way I skated.” And what of Mirai Nagasu, the skater who, in the view of many, was robbed of her trip to the Olympics team by Ashley? Well, turns out Mirai is a class act. Here’s what she posted on FB:
“Not being chosen to represent the United States at the Olympic Games in Sochi and at the 2014 World Championships in Japan has been extremely disappointing to me, and it has been very difficult for me to process. I know that I performed my best at the US Championships in Boston. I am proud of the way I skated and of being awarded the Bronze Medal,. I want to wish Gracie, Polina, Ashley and the rest of the U.S. Team the best of luck at the 2014 Olympic Games. I will be watching and cheering them on.”
Teachable moment: When you don’t get what you want, breathe, process the disappointment in private, and take the high road in public.
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