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October 5, 2009
 Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman You’re among friends, so you might as well admit it. When the headlines, cable TV and the blogosphere scream about a bad mother, famous or not, we can’t get enough. And who’s most intent on sucking the marrow out of these kinds of stories? Mothers, of course! We just can’t resist women like Andrea Yates who in the throes of post partum depression, drowned her children in the bathtub. Or Susan Smith who drove hers into a lake allegedly because the man she was dating didn’t like kids. (I’ve wickedly included the links to illustrate how impossible it is not to feed our need to join the Bad Mother Police.)
What’s our fascination with the “bad mother”? Are we’re secretly gloating underneath our horror and disbelief? Do their reprehensible acts make us feel better about the kind of mothers we are?
Maybe the truth is that we’re so uncertain about our ability to measure up to the mythic “Good Mother” that we readily point to the worst mother model around just to give ourselves a little ego boost. “At least I’m not that bad.” And if we really are that insecure about our parenting, how did we get that way? And more to the point, how can we lighten up on ourselves and other women every time a kid has a meltdown in the supermarket?
In this week’s podcast I talk with Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, And Occasional Moments of Grace.
Back in March 2005 Ayelet wrote an essay for the NY Times in which she stated: “If a good mother is one who loves her child more than anyone else in the world, I am not a good mother. I am in fact a bad mother. I love my husband more than I love my children.”
Today we’re talking with Ayelet about that breakthrough essay, the immediate firestorm it triggered, and where American mothers seem to be today.
Have a listen here:
[QUICKTIME http://www.anniefox.com/podcast/FC009.m4a 300 300 false true]
If you have iTunes, you can subscribe to this podcast in the iTunes Store.
Or, you can download an MP3 version here.
Upcoming guests include:
Rachel Simmons, author of The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wanna Bees and Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads
Diane Peters Mayer, author of Overcoming School Anxiety
Izzy Rose, author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom
Diane E. Levin, co-author (with Jean Kilbourne) of So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood And What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids
Susan M. Heim, author of It’s Twins! and Chicken Soup for the Soul Twins and More
Hannah Friedman, author of Everything Sucks: Losing My Mind and Finding Myself in a High School Quest for Cool
Dara Chadwick, author of You’d Be So Pretty If…
*What’s a podcast? “A podcast is a series of digital media files, usually either digital audio or video, that is made available for download via web syndication.” –Wikipedia… So, in this case, there’s an audio file for you to listen to (in addition to reading the above).
September 7, 2009
 Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin When you think about stepmothers, what comes to mind? For me it’s that heartless woman whose idea of a family outing was to take Hansel and Gretel into the woods and abandon them…twice. Then there’s the callous, opportunistic bitch who fleeced Cinderella’s dad for all he was worth then treated her stepdaughter like a slave in her own home. And let’s not forget that ultimate charmer, so narcissistic and jealous of Snow White she order a hit on the girl. “Cut out her heart and bring it to me in this box!”
Geez! With stepmoms like that it’s no wonder we grow up with such fear and loathing for women who marry men with children. But with 43% of first marriages ending in divorce and so many subsequent remarriages, the likelihood of a child having a real stepmother is relatively high.
So what’s really inside the hearts and minds of stepmoms? Are they as powerful and conniving as we’ve been led to believe? And if so, then why are they blamed for so much that goes wrong in their families? And why are they given so little credit for their sincere efforts to be a positive force in the lives of their husbands and stepchildren? Fair questions that deserve answers.
In this week’s podcast I talk with Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster: A New Look At Why Stepmothers Think, Feel And Act The Way We Do. We get into the fact vs. the fantasy of real stepmoms from someone who has walked the walk and done her homework inside and outside of the family. Every woman who married a man with children or is considering it, needs to hear this one! Men who brought a stepmom into the lives of their kids, don’t want to miss it either.
Have a listen here:
[QUICKTIME http://www.anniefox.com/podcast/FC008.m4a 300 300 false true]
If you have iTunes, you can subscribe to this podcast in the iTunes Store.
Or, you can download an MP3 version here.
Resources suggested by Wednesday Martin:
Upcoming guests include:
Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, And Occasional Moments of Grace
Diane Peters Mayer, author of Overcoming School Anxiety
Izzy Rose, author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom
Diane E. Levin, co-author (with Jean Kilbourne) of So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood And What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids
Susan M. Heim, author of It’s Twins! and Chicken Soup for the Soul Twins and More
Rachel Simmons, author of The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
Hannah Friedman, author of Everything Sucks: Losing My Mind and Finding Myself in a High School Quest for Cool
*What’s a podcast? “A podcast is a series of digital media files, usually either digital audio or video, that is made available for download via web syndication.” –Wikipedia… So, in this case, there’s an audio file for you to listen to (in addition to reading the above).
August 16, 2009
 ''Schuyler's Monster: A Father’s Journey with His Wordless Daughter'' by Robert Rummel-Hudson All living things, with the exception of clones and genetically engineered corn and soybeans, are unique. Of course that includes children. Every kid has a collection of traits, quirks, interests, annoying habits, talents and abilities that makes him or her truly special. That’s why education should be “special” for every child. Unfortunately it’s not. Far from it.
In spite of the “Everyone turn to page 57 in your math book” approach to learning that is so 20th century and still going strong, typical children will muddle through their K-12 years and come out the other end having succeeded to one degree or another.
But for the millions of “special needs kids” who are entitled by law to receive truly special education, many are being grossly short-changed. Why? Crippling state budget cuts aside, the crux of the problem is sometimes in the approach of educators who prejudge a child’s ultimate learning potential and design programs based on what a special needs student “can’t” do rather than acknowledging what he or she may not be able to do “yet.” Education is about opening doors. No one can map out the limits of any child’s potential. That boundary line has been drawn yet.
All kids need parents to advocate for them. Special needs kids need especially loud and pushy parents to go to bat for them at school and help them get what they require to succeed.
In this week’s podcast I talk with Robert Rummel-Hudson author of Schuyler’s Monster: A Father’s Journey With His Wordless Daughter. We talk candidly about his daughter Schuyler, born with a rare neurological disorder that makes language acquisition extremely difficult. We discuss the challenges of connecting with a special needs child and the obstacles parents often encounter when dealing with schools. We also talk about what every parent of a special needs child needs to know in order to be your child’s most ferocious and unyielding advocate.
Have a listen here:
[QUICKTIME http://www.anniefox.com/podcast/FC007.m4a 300 300 false true]
If you have iTunes, you can subscribe to this podcast in the iTunes Store.
Or, you can download an MP3 version here.
Upcoming guests include:
Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster: A New Look At Why Stepmothers Think, Feel And Act The Way We Do
Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, And Occasional Moments of Grace
Izzy Rose, author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom
Diane E. Levin, co-author (with Jean Kilbourne) of So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood And What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids
Rachel Simmons, author of The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
Special thanks to our friend and musician/composer Curt Siffert who let us use his song, “Broken Frost” for the opening of this podcast.
*What’s a podcast? “A podcast is a series of digital media files, usually either digital audio or video, that is made available for download via web syndication.” – Wikipedia… So, in this case, there’s an audio file for you to listen to (in addition to reading the above).
July 13, 2009
 "Over It: A Teen's Guide to Getting Beyond Obsessions with Food and Weight" Several times a week I receive an email from a desperate 12-16 year old girl who’s having issues about her weight. No, let me rephrase that. Her issue isn’t with the number on the bathroom scale. The issue is how she feels about herself. Typically the girl who writes to me hates her body and the way she looks. Then the whole guilt by associate thing sets in and next thing you know… the girl hates herself!
Here are some recent examples:
I’m a junior in high school and let me just start by saying: being a junior sucks. It’s not just the year itself but me that seems to be the problem. Then there’s the whole body image thing. I know I should be happy with what I’ve got and blah blah blah but I still wish I could get out of the training bra section. It’s so awful having friends tell me that they wish they didn’t develop and I should be happy that I’m flat as a board at 16.
Or this one:
I know that I need to lose 10-15 pounds because I’m 5’3″ and weigh about 130. I think that is too high. All my family members say that I’m a little overweight and I am embarrassed every time they talk to me about it. Maybe I don’t need to lose that much but I still need to lose some.
Or this:
I’m very perplexed. I think I’m fat when everyone tells me I’m not. I’m bulimic but no one knows. How do I stop? Because every time I do try to stop I feel guilty and I become worse. I’m 12 years old and I weigh 75 pounds. I still think I’m fat.
Should we be surprised that these girls are so unhappy with themselves and so out of synch with reality? Considering that they’re growing up in a thin-obsessed culture, it would probably be way more surprising if they didn’tfeel this way! So what’s been going on with American girls and women since the early ‘60’s that causes this crippling dissatisfaction with our looks? What does the steady rise in eating disorders (which now includes boys and men) say about our society and our values? And how do we get over it already and help our daughters and sons do the same?
In this week’s podcast* I talk with Carol Normandi and Laurelee Roark co-authors of “Over It: A Teen’s Guide to Getting Beyond Obsessions with Food and Weight.” We talk about the effects of media and pop culture on the body image, healthy and well-being of our tweens and teens. And what parents can do to fight back.
Have a listen here:
[QUICKTIME http://www.anniefox.com/podcast/FC006.m4a 300 300 false true]
If you have iTunes, you can subscribe to this podcast in the iTunes Store.
Or, you can download an MP3 version here.
Upcoming guests include:
Robert Rummel-Hudson, author of Schuyler’s Monster: A Father’s Journey With His Wordless Daughter
Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster: A New Look At Why Stepmothers Think, Feel And Act The Way We Do
Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, And Occasional Moments of Grace
Izzy Rose, author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom
Diane E. Levin, co-author (with Jean Kilbourne) of So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood And What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids
Special thanks to our friend and musician/composer Curt Siffert who let us use his song, “Tie Down for the Storm” for the opening of this podcast.
*What’s a podcast? “A podcast is a series of digital media files, usually either digital audio or video, that is made available for download via web syndication.” — Wikipedia… So, in this case, there’s an audio file for you to listen to (in addition to reading the above).
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