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October 4, 2012
 A very personal, practical, funny guide to challenging the culture of cruelty The gestation, labor, and heavy pushing are over! On October 3rd at 4:12 PM Teaching Kids to Be Good People was born, you can get your own Kindle version of my book right here. No Kindle? No problem! You can read the book just fine on your Mac, PC, iPod Touch, iPad, iPhone, Android, Blackberry, and Windows Phone 7 with this free Kindle Reader app. Or you can get the print edition here.
Why does anyone write a book? Serious writing can I can seriously tie your brain in knots so why go through that? I can only speak for myself. Part of it is for the glory. (I’m being honest because it’s the only way I know how to write.) When I hold one of my book and I read (great) reviews, I’m thrilled. And for that moment, I’m proud of what I’ve produced. I’m feeling that way now.
After 15 years of answering teen email, I’m convinced that many kids are missing the piece that motivates them to do the right thing. When their education primarily comes from their equally clueless peers, they’re in trouble. And so are we all. That’s why I wrote the book and why you need to read it. Our kids need us to help them develop a moral compass. And we need to do a much better job teaching them how.
Not all teachers are parents, but all parents are teachers. That’s convenient since positive character traits are teachable skills that need to be learned at home as well as at school. When we teach kids to be good people, we help the world become a safer, saner, more accepting place for all of us.
How do you define a “good person?” That’s precisely what I wanted to find out, so I crowdsourced the answer from hundreds of parents, therapists, counselors, educators and teens. Eight concepts kept reappearing in their thoughtful replies: Emotional intelligence, ethics, help, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, acceptance, and social courage—all essential, teachable skills. Teaching Kids to Be Good People will help you teach these skills to your children and/or your students. Hopefully, you will become so engaged in this process that you will inspire all the kids in your life to consciously choose to be kinder to one another.
I think of it as doing my bit for world peace. Does that work for you?
September 19, 2012
Aside from giving birth to my own children, nothing provides me with more delight and a creative high than producing a new book. To find out why I decided, after 25 years of writing exclusively for kids, to write a book for adults, and why every parent and educator at least ought to explore Teaching Kids to Be Good People, please read the introduction.
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 The book I've been working on for 15 years
Obviously not all teachers are parents, but all parents are teachers. That’s convenient because good character traits, like empathy and respect, are teachable skills that need to be learned at home as well as at school. When we teach kids to be good people we help the world become a safer, saner, more equitable place for all of us. Nothing is more important than that!
But these are tough times for character educators. I know because I’ve been working in schools with students, teachers, and parents for more than 30 years as well as online since 1997. The job is getting harder. The values promoted by mass media work against us. What passes for entertainment is frequently mean-spirited. Character assassination in public discourse is the air we breathe, and the resulting pollution is a hazard to our well-being. It’s a huge problem, but what can we do?
When our kids plug in, which is most of the time, they encounter few positive adult role models. Online and off, our culture frequently ignores or rewards cruelty. This is why our children desperately need us to do a better job mentoring them in the direction of respect and kindness.
Our kids are good kids, but they are constantly challenged by the less-than-compassionate standards of their peers with whom they are mind-linked 24/7. Today’s teens suffer from status anxiety at levels no other generation has endured. This compels them to do whatever it takes to fit in, including things they are not particularly proud of. Despite these ubiquitous challenges I am confident we can teach our kids to be good people who actively seek opportunities to help others and who have the social courage to act on their good intentions.
We parent-educators are gardeners. We plant seeds and offer nurturing lessons that our kids can internalize. But we are not our children’s only influencers. By rededicating ourselves to teaching our kids to be good people, we provide them with the tools to do the right thing while we’re right there beside them and when they’re on their own. Whether they actually do it, is their choice. But at least we’ll know we’ve done our part well.
To help on our parenting journey, I’ve written this very personal and pragmatic guide that includes essays, podcasts, prompts, tools, questions, answers, and self-assessment quizzes all for the purpose of teaching kids to be good people.
How do you define a “good person?” That’s what I wanted to find out, so I crowdsourced the answer by posting the question. I received hundreds of responses. Eight concepts kept reappearing: Emotional intelligence, ethics, help, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, acceptance, and social courage—all essential, teachable skills. This book will help you teach them to your children or students. Hopefully, we’ll become so engaged in this process that we will inspire all of our children to become part of the solution.
April 10, 2012
 For parents with kids with autism by parents with kids with autism It’s Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month. Excellent, because we all need more awareness and education in this area. I know I sure do. That’s why, a few weeks ago, I interviewed Shannon Des Roches Rosa, self-described “Potty-mouthed Mom” behind the blog, Squidalicious: Parenting, Autism, iPads and Geekery. Shannon’s been writing about her autistic son, Leo, and her parenting journey since 2003. She writes with a level of honesty and humor that grabs me and keeps me coming back. She talks that way too. Here’s an excerpt from our hour-long conversation about her new book The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism.
Annie: There seem to be new books on autism coming out every week. Why did you and your co-editors (Jennifer Byde Myers and Liz Ditz) feel the need to produce yet another one?
Shannon: None of them were books we would have wanted when our kids were first diagnosed. That is, a rational, compassionate handbook that would say: What is autism? Tell me everything I need to know. What are my next steps? And how can I make good decisions? There are so many competing approaches out there. Some of them are useless at best. Others are actively harmful, like chelation, a medical procedure for removing metals from the body. And a lot of these treatments are so disrespectful to people with autism – treating them as if they’re ‘broken’ and not ‘whole’ people. And some are just so expensive for parents who don’t necessarily have a lot of money to take out a second mortgage to “cure” their child with an approach that doesn’t even have a basis in mainstream science.
Annie: What struck me from reading several of the essays in the book (there are about 50 and each is a gem), were descriptions of that parental roller coaster ride of hope and expectations, pursuing some of these treatments, followed by frustration and despair.
Shannon: In many cases, all of it for naught. What we try to do in our book is help people learn to think critically and rationally about autism even when they are in the midst of this whirlwind of new information. So many parents are so distraught when they learn their child is diagnosed with autism. We want to help them through that. And we want to let them know that even though the media tends to perceive people with autism and special needs like this lightning bolt of ‘bad luck,’ people with special needs are part of our community. They’ve always been here. This is just another way of being. These people need more understanding. Yes! They need more support. Yes! But that doesn’t make them “other” or “less than.” These are families that need compassion and understanding, but not pity. We want to help people get past fear, myths and negative stereotypes.
Annie: I just want to say, as a writer myself, that I’m a very critical reader. And in addition to the excellent information you’ve provided in The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism, it is a wonderfully written book. It’s very readable and the tone is very reassuring. And if your goal was to share the voices of real people talking about autism with the authority of their personal experience, you have exceeded that goal. I hope you’re very proud of what you’ve accomplished. I also hope that the millions of people whose lives are touched by autism (that includes family, friends and educators) will buy your book. It’s a gift to all of us who consider ourselves to be thinking people.
Shannon: Thank you!
Annie: Thank you so much for spending time with me today and for writing this guide. I’ve learned a lot and I will continue to dip into it because I need to learn more. People often come to me with questions about autism and now I have an excellent resource to offer them. One that offers understanding and support for them and their child rather than treating their child as a ‘problem’ that needs to be ‘fixed.’
Shannon: There’s a big difference between supporting and fixing! Annie: Agreed. And that very helpful and positive perspective comes through loud and clear in your book!
January 17, 2012
(See UPDATES BELOW)
I’m writing my first book for adults since Armchair BASIC. It’s called: Teaching Kids to Be Good People. It will be available as an eBook in September.
Since one person’s “good” might be another person’s “Are you kidding me?!” I knew I needed to be precise from the onset. So I asked my twitter followers, plus many of my most thoughtful friends, colleagues and family members “How do you define a ‘good’ person?”
Lots of intriguing and insightful responses galloped my way and I’m grateful. My plan is to dissect each one… all in good time. But at the moment, I’m focused on forgiveness.
That’s an aspect of “goodness” I hadn’t considered. Probably says something about me. I mean, I have overstayed my welcome at the Self-Pity Party, ahem… once or twice. So when one especially kind-hearted friend offered me this nugget: “A good person is forgiving”, like a dog and a flying tennis ball, I was on it. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.
- What does it mean to be forgiving?
- How do you actually forgive someone? Which muscle do you relax or clench?
- What’s the connection between forgiving and forgetting? Are they mutually exclusive?
- What might you gain by holding on to your resentment? Anger? Self-righteous indignation?
- What might you lose?
- Why is it so $#*@ hard to permanently unplug a memory that continues to wound each time you project it onto your mental movie screen?
These are open ended questions, my friends. I don’t know any useful answers… yet. Love to hear your thoughts.
fyi, in the next 6 months, I’ll be talking about teaching kids to be good people at the 18th Annual Character Education Conference in St. Louis, the INTASE Educators’ Conference in Singapore, and at the 19th National Forum on Character Education in Washington, DC.
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UPDATE 3:13 pm Today (9/14/12): The book is finished! And I’ve had only enthusiastic early reviews, including these:
- “Annie Fox has a genuine passion for helping our young people and she has many years of experience doing it. Both are evident in this wonderful resource for parents and teachers. It’s full of insight, wisdom, good stories, and most important – practical advice. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to help our kids become good people.” –Dr. Hal Urban, author of Life’s Greatest Lessons and 20 Gifts of Life
- I can’t express enough how much I love Annie’s work. Having worked in this field for so long, it becomes increasingly difficult to read new thoughts and ideas. Every time I read something of Annie’s, it makes me think. She writes about subjects with such compassion, insight and practicality that you can’t help but love all that she does. Great book-a great job Annie!” –Sarah Newton, author of Help! My Teenager is an Alien!
- “Another work of magic from what I have come to know as a master in the field. Sharing actual scenarios and follow up ideas, helps to keep readers connected to Annie’s ideas in a way that most parenting books fail to do.” –Joe Bruzzese, author of A Parents’ Guide to the Middle School Years and Founder of Sprigeo.com, the online bully reporting system
- “Finding positive, empathetic role models is often difficult but this wonderfully practical and warm hearted eBook is a great place to start. It will empower parents with some really helpful suggestions and ideas that will help you to navigate the choppy emotional waters of raising great adults.” –Sue Atkins, author of Parenting Made Easy – How to Raise Happy Children
This early feedback, especially coming from these excellent parent educators, has touched and encouraged me. The book is done, so what am I waiting for? Nothing, except to finalize the cover design. That won’t take long. As promised, before the sun sets on the last day of September 2012, Teaching Kids to Be Good People, will be available to everyone interested in raising young adults of good heart and mind. If you’d like to receive an announcement when the book is available, shoot me an email and I’ll let you know… personally.
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UPDATE (10/3/12): I’m very pleased (and excited) to announce Teaching Kids to Be Good People is now available in print and also on Kindle. Here’s an excerpt from the introduction:
We parent-educators are gardeners. We plant seeds and offer nurturing lessons that our kids can internalize. But we are not our children’s only influencers. By re-dedicating ourselves to teaching our kids to be good people, we provide them with the tools to do the right thing while we’re right there beside them and when they’re on their own. Whether they actually do it, is their choice. But at least we’ll know we’ve done our part well.
To help on our parenting journey, I’ve written this very personal and pragmatic guide that includes essays, podcasts, prompts, tools, questions, answers and self-assessment quizzes all for the purpose of teaching kids to be good people. How do you define a “good person?” That’s what I wanted to find out, so I posted the question and received hundreds of answers. Eight words kept reappearing: Emotional intelligence, ethics, help, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, tolerance and social courage — all essential, teachable skills. This book will help you teach them to your children or students. Hopefully, we’ll become so engaged in this process that our teaching will inspire all of our children to become part of the solution.
Look for an announcement next month! In the meantime, if you’d like a personal email when the Teaching Kids to Be Good People is available, let me know.
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