Annie Fox's Blog...

Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

When girls see women marching

January 23, 2017

Look around, little sister. You are one of us.

Look around, little sister. You are one of us.

When girls see women marching together, proud and peaceful, focused and determined, politically motivated and ready for action, those girls might realize something they had not known—something about women and something about themselves as girls.

When girls see women marching in solidarity for women’s rights and human rights, a seed is planted. One that will help girls recognize:

Women are beautiful. Each of us, in all our infinite diversity. Look at the images from women’s marches around the globe. Look at our faces. Look at our bodies. Look at our shining eyes. Look at our mouths shouting, chanting, singing, making our voices heard. Face it. Our beauty is undeniable. Face yourself. You are beautiful. Stop starving yourself. Not to fit into skinny jeans or someone else’s idea of “perfection.” Stop trashing your body with insults. Stop trashing other girls. Just stop. Love your body. Girl, you are beautiful.

Women are powerful. We don’t need anyone’s approval to be who we are. Getting approval is not why we’re here. We don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse to complete us. What you see is what you get—an already complete package. Be clear about that. Be clear, also, that no one has the right to touch us without our permission. No one has the right to objectify us or make us feel small or scared. No one has the right to make laws that govern our reproductive rights. Being pretty and sexy and nice and cooperative is not why we’re here. We are here to use our power for good. Each of us, on our own, has the power to shift any conversation, any relationship, any situation just by being focused, honest, and assertive. That’s power. Girl, you are powerful.

We are sisters. There is no “natural competition” between women. Some male marketers made that up to get you to buy more beauty products. What is natural is our connection with and our empathy for each other. We are sisters. To be unkind to another woman, to another girl, is to be unkind to yourself. We need each other’s understanding and support. We are sisters.

We have a caring heart. We are upholders of humanity’s highest value and greatest asset: a caring heart. Our mammalian brain is wired for empathy, to feel the full range of human experience whether it’s our own experience or someone else’s. Do not deny what you feel. Do not let anyone scoff at your tenderness and tell you you’re “too emotional.” Our emotions make us fully human. To deny our emotions is unhealthy. It can also desensitize us to the needs of others. A woman’s power comes, in part, from her caring heart. You have that heart.

We get things done. We are doers. We are organizers. What you feel is important, but what you do is more important. When we work together, with clarity of purpose, with respect for our individual strengths and compassion for our limitations, we are unstoppable. We are women.

The Women’s March was a spectacular beginning. It was the first step. Here’s what’s next.

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#18: Mount Vernon – Welcome home, President Washington

February 1, 2009

President George Washington, age 57 from a forensic reconstruction

President George Washington, age 57 from a forensic reconstruction

My fascination with old houses probably began one day when I was 9 and wandered through a wooded area at the end of my street. The trail led into a clearing where I discovered the remains of an abandoned old mansion. Pretty cool find! Ever since, I’ve been hooked on the challenge of what could be pieced together about a life from the clues people leave behind.

Over the years I’ve gone out of my way to check out the former dwellings of the likes of Elvis Presley, William Shakespeare, President Franklin Roosevelt, Russian Czar Peter the Great, and Anne Frank.

That’s why, on our last day in DC, I was eager to visit Mount Vernon, home of George Washington. Turns out the  Father of our Country never spent a whole lot of time at home. OK, so he didn’t much help Martha around the house, but  let’s give the man his due respect. He was very busy serving his country, pretty much continuously from 1752-1797, without a lot of down time. He fought with the British in the French and Indian War (1754–1763).  Then he fought against the British as Commander of the Continental Army in the American Revolution (1775-1783).

With American independence won, Washington figured he’d retire to his working farm on the Potomac River. But in less than four years, he was off to Philadelphia to preside over the Constitutional Convention that drafted the U.S. Constitution.  And two years after that, in 1789, he was inaugurated as our first President. He served excellently for 2 terms – refusing to extend it to a third and thus setting a very wise precedent that two consecutive terms is all any US President gets. By all accounts, Washington was one of the top three of all times.

Done with public service in 1797, GW happily returned to Martha at Mount Vernon with the idea that he’d finally get to enjoy his home, his family, and his gardens. Unfortunately, just 2 years later, he died of pneumonia at the age of 67.  

Inside the slave quarters at Mt. Vernon

Inside the slave quarters at Mt. Vernon

Yes, Washington was a great man and as a nation we are incredibly fortunate to have had him as our first leader. But he wasn’t perfect. It might surprise you to know that Washington owned slaves. Probably not the way you want to think about him, but it’s true. And facts need to be remembered and factored into the mix for history to create a complete picture of the way things really were.

Here are some of the other sights from the wonderful and highly recommended Mount Vernon…

Mt. Vernon, as it is today

Mt. Vernon, as it is today

Not a bad view of the Potomac from the back porch of Mt. Vernon.

Not a bad view of the Potomac from the back porch of Mt. Vernon.

Annie gets needlepoint lessons from Lady Martha Washington, Oscar-worthy reenactor.

Annie gets needlepoint lessons from Lady Martha Washington, Oscar-worthy reenactor.

Recreation of General Washington at age 45

Recreation of General Washington at age 45

45 year old General Washington

45 year old General Washington from a forensic reconstruction

George Washington, taking the Oath of Office, New York, 1789

George Washington, taking the Oath of Office, New York, 1789

Ella from San Francisco

Ella from San Francisco

While we waited in line to get inside the house, we met a 9 year old girl and her mom. They were from San Francisco and pretty much like everyone else we’d talked to all week, they’d come for the Inauguration. I asked the girl why Obama’s election was important to her. Here’s what she told me:

Ella (age 9, San Francisco): I think it will  be part of the future. If there is a first black American President… who knows? We could be president too one day.

Annie: You mean women too?

Ella (smiling broadly): Yeah!

Yes we can.

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#17: Inauguration Day Part 4 – (Warm) Air and space

January 27, 2009

A warm place to stretch out!

A warm place to stretch out!

A memory is a mental video clip that changes with time. And while you might recall a physical detail of an event, such as: “I remember my stomach hurt during that party,” those are just words. Fortunately you won’t be able to re-experience the belly ache in the same way that you can bring to mind a visual memory of the party. So yes, it’s a video clip, but it’s not completely accurate and it can change.

I mention all this because I’m back home in California now where today’s high was a sunny 60 degrees. But the event I’m remembering (from last Tuesday’s Inauguration) took place in 30 degree temperature. In my mind’s eye, I can picture my freezing self, but, thankfully, I can’t actually remember how cold I was.

When David and I exited the National Mall after President Obama’s Inaugural Address we headed for the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. Why go there? Because we’d done our homework and knew that a) it was going to be open b) it was free to get in and c) they were expecting lots of visitors who needed shelter from the cold.

The Air and Space Museum is amazing. Large, warm, light filled, with beautiful old airplanes hanging from the ceiling, space race artifacts and so much more. On first arriving, we were particularly impressed with the clean warm bathrooms, the warm food court serving warm food, the expanse of nice warm carpeted floor to stretch out and warm up on. Did I mention that the Air and Space Museum is warm inside? 

After we rested, picnicked on energy bars, cranberry juice, pretzels, and apples… checked email on our iPhone and basically thawed out and recovered our senses… we wandered around a bit and took in some of the exhibits. Here’s what we saw…

Hanging out in front of the Lunar Lander

Hanging out in front of the Lunar Lander

Douglas DC-3 (top-center)

Douglas DC-3 (top-center)

Nice place to rest

Nice place to rest

Full-scale reproduction of the Jupiter-C launch vehicle with models of the Explorer I and other satellites

Full-scale reproduction of the Jupiter-C launch vehicle with models of the Explorer I and other satellites

Thawing out

Thawing out

Skylab Orbital Workshop, backup flight unit

Skylab Orbital Workshop, backup flight unit

Too tired to raise the flag

Too tired to raise the flag

German V2 Rocket

German V2 Rocket

I’d like to go back and visit the Air and Space Museum the next time I’m in DC and really check out the exhibits. Obviously it’s a unique place with a lot more going for it than a good heating system. I’m also guessing that next time it won’t be quite so crowded.

Filed under: Inauguration,Politics,Teens — Tags: — Annie @ 3:59 pm
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#16: Inauguration Day Part 3 – 1.8 million new best friends

January 23, 2009

Everything you need to enjoy the Inauguration.. a hat, a visitor's map, and a chocolate bar

Everything you need to enjoy the Inauguration... souvenir hat, visitor's map, and a chocolate bar

Of course we came for the main event: To witness the Swearing In Ceremony of Barack Obama and to hear his Inaugural Address (part 1 and part 2). But if that was all, we could have stayed home, had a much better view, and a great bathroom right down the hall. But we were after something more.

I’m not sure I can even describe what I mean except to say that I wanted to feel the love. Sounds cheesy, I know. Maybe I should delete those last two words and not risk damaging my hard earned tough-guy image. But nope, I’m letting them stand because it’s the truth.  I wanted to be with all those people who also came to feel the tsunami of love that washed over the National Mall on January 21, 2009. Just having that one thing in common transformed 1.8 million strangers into old friends. 

In the 12 foot radius around us people from South Carolina joked with people from Indiana. People from Maryland sang and boogied with people from Minnesota. People from everywhere grinned knowingly at one another as if to say, “How cool is this?!” During our three and a half hours packed together like ice cubes in a tray, we cheerfully shared the basics of human survival– food, space, and chemical warmth. (The ones for our hands worked way better than the ones we stuffed in our shoes.)

When the ceremony was over,  I trudged away thinking, if we could so easily create an instant sense of community out of a bunch of strangers (with the bonding and the trust that goes with it), what’s keeping us from being more cooperative all the time, especially with people we know really well? What  could you do to get along better with your own family? With your friends? With the kids in your class? This is what “Out of many, one” really means.

Maybe you’re thinking… “Yeah, sure. I’d like to feel closer to the people I live with and the people I hang out with.” Everyone would. But we don’t often take the first step in that direction. When I hold back it’s usually because I’m afraid I might get laughed at, or ignored or rejected in some other way. That’s my excuse for not putting my friendliest self forward. What’s yours? C’mon… let’s be honest. Post your comments.

This image provided by GeoEye Satellite Image shows Washington D.C.'s National Mall and the United States Capitol (top), in Washington D.C. on Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009 taken at 11:19AM EDT during the inauguration of President Barack Obama. The image, taken through high, wispy white clouds, shows the masses of people between the Capitol and the Washington Monument. (AP Photo/GeoEye Satellite Image)

This image provided by GeoEye Satellite Image shows Washington D.C.'s National Mall and the United States Capitol (top), in Washington D.C. on Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009 taken at 11:19AM EDT during the inauguration of President Barack Obama. The image, taken through high, wispy white clouds, shows the masses of people between the Capitol and the Washington Monument. (AP Photo/GeoEye Satellite Image). Click photo for a larger version (and so you can see where we were).

11:30 AM, Michelle Obama arrives at the Inauguration

11:30 AM, Michelle Obama arrives at the Inauguration

Photographing Michelle's arrival

Photographing Michelle's arrival

Patiently waiting for the big event

Patiently waiting for the big event

Shaking a chemical hand warmer to activate it

Shaking a chemical hand warmer to activate it

11:39 AM Photographing more arrivals

11:39 AM Photographing more arrivals

11:43 AM Washington Monument in the background

11:43 AM Washington Monument in the background

Finally, the Oath of Office, "So help me God"

Finally, the Oath of Office, "So help me God"

Lots of cheering and picture taking!

Lots of cheering and picture taking!

Cheering continues

Cheering continues

Cheering continues

Cheering continues

Cheering continues

Cheering continues

Hugs, tears, smiles

Hugs, tears, smiles

P.S. Adventures in DC continue next week with blogs about: The Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, George Washington’s home at Mount Vernon, and our car accident! Stay tuned.

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