Kindness and Respect Challenge

Day 3: Kindness and Respect Challenge (It’s hard to be kind when you’re stressed)

October 3, 2013

At the top of the trail a deer blocked our path and I freaked, albeit it quietly. In case you’re reading this from the snake and piranha invested Amazon and are thinking, “A deer?! Gimme a break!” we’re not talking Bambi here, we’re talking something along the lines of this (minus the frigid air, which also freaks me out):

Hey, hikers, where do you think you're going?

David quickly put our 6-month-old Pupster on leash, which reduced my anxiety a tad. Nothing like imagining your dog skewered on an antler to trigger a stress-response. And that’s really what this was about for me. Stress. The raw, unseasoned fear that the buck would decide deep within the recesses of its little deer brain, that we were a threat and needed to be run off the trail. I’m still mending from a broken foot bone and not quite back to walking straight, so the prospect of running for my life stressed me further. Ah, stress. And the adrenalin that drives it. That stuff makes us less likely to respond kindly and respectfully to anything.

With ominous intent, David and I flapped our arms. The Pupster wagged her tail fiercely. The deer just stood there. We stomped our feet. Nothing. We added a sound track of intimidating growls. The deer blinked. Then he took a tentative step toward us! At that point I considered picking up a rock and hurling it in Buck’s direction. But then I remembered The Kindness and Respect Challenge I’ve given myself this month. I took a deep breath and announced to David, The Pupster, the deer, and the Universe, “I will respond with kindness and respect.” With those magic words Buck turned away and walked uphill, into the trees.

Another skewering respectfully averted.

PS Check out Day 4 of the Kindness and Respect Challenge.

Filed under: Kindness and Respect Challenge — Tags: deer, hikiing, Kindness and Respect Challenge, stress management — Annie @ 10:19 am

Comments (5)

Day 2: Kindness and Respect Challenge (Add to the good karma chain)

October 2, 2013

Yesterday was a good day. I was reminded how this kindness and respect thing can have ripple effects. When we’re on the receiving end of an act of kindness it touches and transforms us, if only for a short while. And during that window of transformation we’re more caring, more open, and yes, more vulnerable to our human tendency to look out for one another. And so… we are more likely to be kind to the next human.

Illustration in point: On the way up to Fawn Ridge where we like to hike, I tried to parallel park beside a rocky hillside. Got a little too close and knocked off some plastic thing from under my car. Which, by the way, I didn’t notice until two hours later when I returned to my car and some kind guy pointed it out.

That was last week and yesterday I finally made it to the dealership to get the plastic thing reattached. I left the car while they examined it and visited a nearby Target where I got a call from the woman at the dealership telling me the repair would cost $200.

I’m like, “Woah! No thanks. I’m gonna pass.”

Woman: OK. We won’t do the work.

Returning to fetch my car, I’m greeted by the manager holding an invoice in the amount of $73. Since it was only Day 1 of my Kindness and Respect Challenge, I took some slow deep breaths and calmly asked, “Why am I paying for work that wasn’t done?”

Fair question, right?

Manager: We did reattach it (the plastic under thingie). We also replaced a missing bolt on your license plate. No charge. We would have washed car but our machine isn’t working. Sorry about that. Here’s a coupon for a local car wash.

Me (mightily confused): You reattached it? But… uh… I thought… Wait! How much do I owe you?

Manager: $25

Me (mightily relieved): Oh! OK!

So I left feeling like I’d just been bathed in a shower of kindness. The afterglow stayed with me as I drove home along Lincoln Avenue and spotted a woman in an electric cart driving on the sidewalk. She hit a bump and her helmet flew off the back seat without her noticing. Still glowing, I pulled over, waited for her, rolled down the window and said, “You lost your helmet back there.”

She smiled, beautifully, and thanked me. That’s not why I did it, but it felt good.

What happened to you yesterday?

PS Check out Day 3 of the Kindness and Respect Challenge.

Filed under: Cruel's Not Cool,Parenting — Tags: Kindness and Respect Challenge — Annie @ 10:46 am

Comments (4)

Day 1: Kindness and Respect Challenge, The Bullying Cure?

October 1, 2013

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Not sure what we’re expected to work on for the rest of the year, but I’m up for treating people better, at least through Halloween.

Unlike highly successful education campaigns of the past: Don’t Be a Litter Bug and Buckle Up for Safety because Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires, if you go by surveys, our 10+ year war on bullying hasn’t yet reached the tipping point.

There’s no one solution to verbal abuse and the rest of the social garbage that has become the norm for our kids, online and off. Something’s gotta give and each of us has the power to make things better. I never took physics, but I know that everyday nastiness and social aggression adds to the garbage. So it stands to reason that more kindness and respect will move the needle in the other direction.

That’s why, starting today, to honor the good intentions of National Bullying Prevention Month, I’m beginning my own month-long Kindness and Respect Challenge (aka #KindRespect).

Kindness and Respect Challenge

Here’s the idea: between now and October 31st, I will actively look for opportunities to be kind and respectful to others. I realize it’s going to take serious anger management and mouth control on my part. I also understand I’m inviting the the Universe to throw a whole lot of “tests” my way, but I’m in and I’ll be reporting my experiences right here every day.

Who’s in with me?

In friendship,

Annie

PS Encourage your kids to join the Kindness and Respect Challenge along with you (and the whole family). Create a #KindRespect chart (could be on the fridge or posted on a wall) in which each one of you who RECEIVES an act of kindness and/or a show of respect from another family writes it down. For example, John might write on the chart, “Trevor helped me with my homework.” Way to go, Trevor! Or Trevor might write, “Mom, made me a snack.” Yay, Mom! At the end of the week, acknowledge the cumulative effects of more kindness and respect in the family. Change happens when we change how we treat each other.

Check out Day 2

Filed under: Parenting,Teaching Kids To Be Good People,Teens — Tags: bullying, education, Kindness and Respect Challenge, National Bullying Prevention Month — Annie @ 9:33 am

Comments (10)