Annie Fox's Blog...

Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

Guest Blogger: Teen Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Sister

September 26, 2009

By Islande

Islande is a 16 year old writer at RadicalParenting.com, a parenting blog written from the kid’s perspective with 80 teen interns. Born in Haiti and currently in Jacksonville, Florida, Islande, wants to be a psychologist so that she can help others with their problems and issues and just be an ear to their venting.

Teen Pregnancy. How cool is that?!

Teen Pregnancy. How cool is that?!

“Mom, Dad…I’m pregnant.” Now I’m pretty sure that no parent wants to hear those words come out of the mouth of their teenage daughter, but the reality is that when it happens, it happens. The daughter now has a child, another being, another soul to take care of and the parents now have shame, shock and surprise to deal with. But then, what about everyone else in the mix? What about the baby’s father, the cousins, the siblings? What about the sisters, like me?

When I first heard the news that my 18 year old sister, fresh out of high school, was pregnant, it hit me. Hard. Not as hard as it hit my folks, but still pretty hard. I didn’t want to believe it. Despite the evidence right in front of me, I still denied it, until I just had to face reality and see that this was going to happen. My sister had gotten pregnant and will have a child.

When I did finally accept the truth, it was time to face facts. I tried looking at the positives but a negative fact kept creeping in not too far behind. For instance, I would think, “I’m going to be an aunt!” Then the negative thoughts came: “Yes, but at 16? You’re an aunt to your 18 year old sister’s child!” The only positive outlook that I see is one: a baby will be born. I just have a soft spot for babies. They’re my weapon of vulnerability. Once I see or hold a baby, nothing else matters.

There are many others out there like me, others of different ages, races, and genders, who know what I may be going through. Some may be experiencing it worse than I am. And it seems as if everyday, more and more teens are getting pregnant and it’s no longer, in my opinion, a “big deal”. You’re a teen pregnant out of wedlock? No problem! It’s normal! Society will take care of you! Everyday it’s turning less and less into a serious issue and more and more into a…well, a fad, a trend, an okay thing.

According to FamilyFirstAid.org, “The United States has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Teen pregnancy costs the United States at least $7 billion annually. Thirty-four percent of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 — about 820,000 a year. Eight in ten of these teen pregnancies are unintended and 79 percent are to unmarried teens. Most teenagers giving birth before 1980 were married whereas most teens giving birth today are unmarried.” The sad part is that teen pregnancy is becoming widely publicized. Teen celebrities and actresses, such as Jamie Lynn Spears, are becoming pregnant. Movies, like Juno, are portraying teen mothers. Books, music videos, magazines are all treating this issue so lightly. But who is out there to say no? Who out there is getting the point out to our teens, preventing them to not get pregnant?

The only name that comes to mind at the top of my head is Maury. I watch his shows all the time. Not all of his shows speak of “lie detector tests” and “DNA tests”. Certain episodes address teen mothers and want-to-be teen mothers. Guests, such as real girls who experience it and are still fighting for child support, trying to find their baby’s father or fighting each day for financial security for them and their baby, appear on the show. But they can’t go back in time. You can’t move back, only forward in life. But it’s sad and unbelievable. Like Maury likes to say to his audience and special guests, “You’re only a child yourself. How can you take care of another being when you can’t even take care of yourself?” And his question still remains unanswered.

So is it a fad? Sadly, it seems that way. But things aren’t always what they seem. Let’s hope not, because we can’t just let this happen to our teens and act like it’s ok and everything’s just “fine and dandy”, because it’s not and it won’t be. Teen pregnancy affects everyone, not just those who get pregnant. All we can do is stick by our teens and day by day, try to decimate this widely popular fad. One day at a time.

---------

11 Comments »

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Annie Fox. Annie Fox said: @gavoweb @Love_Love_Laugh Tnx 4 the RT #Teen voices of reason have a better chance of reaching teens then we do! http://bit.ly/ApWGG [...]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention Guest Teen Blogger: An Aunt at 16 – Teen Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Sister | Annie Fox's Blog -- Topsy.com — September 26, 2009 @ 3:32 pm

  2. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Annie Fox and Annie Fox. Annie Fox said: #Teen Pregnancy affects everyone in the family. New post by Guest Blogger:Teen Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Sister http://bit.ly/JFMjR [...]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention Guest Blogger: Teen Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Sister | Annie Fox's Blog -- Topsy.com — September 27, 2009 @ 6:25 pm

  3. Its horrible that some teen mothers dont get the support they need sometimes from their family of child support or whatever. There needs to be people helping them and i hope soon they will!!!
    snowbunny97 xxx

    Comment by Bryony Myers — October 2, 2009 @ 10:35 am

  4. [...] Guest Blogger: Teen Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Sister | Annie … [...]

    Pingback by Baby-Parenting.co.uk - Pregnancy Information, Pregnancy problems & Pregnancy tools — October 20, 2009 @ 12:22 pm

  5. [...] Guest Blogger: Teen Pregnancy from the Eyes of a Sister | Annie … [...]

    Pingback by Baby-Parenting.com Website Directory - Pregnancy — October 21, 2009 @ 11:09 pm

  6. I have been wondering about this issue. Thanks for posting this article. You made some good points there. It’s well written and helpful. Life may be difficult for a teenage mother and her child. high teen birth rates are an important concern because teen mothers and their babies face increased risks to their health, and their opportunities to build a future are diminished.

    Comment by Dentists Abilene — December 6, 2009 @ 11:44 pm

  7. I’m a teen, and I’m pregnant. Yes, it’s hard, but I have a very supporting mother. When she assured me she’s just there, everything followed. Everything is well. I no longer cared bout what other people says.

    Comment by yunna — December 26, 2009 @ 8:44 pm

  8. I was born to a teenage mother and I became pregnant at eighteen. I would never encourage a teen to have a child and I did not intentionally get pregnant. My situation was extremely difficult because I’d dropped out at fourteen and my son’s father was incarcerated. I used my love for my son as the unstoppable motivation to reach higher than anyone told me I could. I managed to get out of the ghetto, get a job, go to law school, graduate, remarry, build my dream home and see the world. My point here is definitely not to endorse teen pregnancy. Instead, I want girls who are already mothers to know that it is not too late and every opportunity still exists for them. It all starts with believing this is true. I hold you all in my heart.

    Cynthia

    http://cynthiaoccelli.blogspot.com

    Comment by Cynthia — December 31, 2009 @ 7:45 pm

  9. I’m blown away by this use of teen pregnancy.. Even though I dont experience that.. or even my mother.. i still have that concern with this topic coz many girls.. nowadays are in that situation and i saw their sacrifice for that…

    Comment by 11 weeks pregnant — April 4, 2010 @ 11:07 pm

  10. Teen pregnancy is a problem that a lot of families deal with one way or the other. It is a reality, and it’s not something that will not just go away if we turn a blind eye on it. There are a lot of reasons why this happens, some of which include a flawed sex education system, the awkwardness of a teen purchasing contraceptives and condoms, and teen rebellion. Sometimes this cannot be avoided, but there are ways of dealing with it. The impact of such an event affects the teens involved and the people around them.

    Comment by Edward Davis — May 12, 2010 @ 7:18 pm

  11. I just wanted to tell you thaanks! I’m there with you. I just found out my 17 year. old sister, who’s a senior is pregnant. And although I’m not the parent, and I’m not the pregnant teen, it’s still affects me too! Nice to know I’m not alone on these thoughts in regards to teenage pregnancy and the sad fact that it’s becoming a “normal” part of our society.

    Comment by Linds — June 13, 2010 @ 2:08 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Note: If there is no place to enter the secret code, please click on the button below.

 

Find Annie Fox: Find Annie on Facebook Find Annie on Twitter Find Annie on Pinterest Find Annie on YouTube Find Annie on Google+ Find Annie on LinkedIn Find Annie on Goodreads Find Annie on Quora