I sat and waited for my friend to meet me for lunch at a local place. I was trying not to do anything else. I was not succeeding.
When you’re waiting for someone to meet you, or call, or return a text, it’s easy to think fuel-ish thoughts (the kind that adds to anxiety):
Where is she already?
12:30. Wasn’t this the time we said?
It was for Wednesday, right?
Today is Wednesday, isn’t it?
Or were we supposed to meet Thursday?!
Is she trying to call me?
Is my phone on? (Yes!)
Should I check again? (Yes, it’s on!)
Did she forget?
Did she have an emergency?!
Is she all right?!!
All that mental garbage, piling up, muzzling my good spirits of ten minutes ago as I congratulated myself for finding parking so close-by… and with 90 minutes still on the meter!
But now fuelish spores exude from my monkey mind, infecting this happy camper. Downer thoughts. Not worth a damn. Powerless to alter current reality:
I am sitting alone on a wooden bench in a restaurant. My friend, who agreed to meet me for lunch is now… 22 minutes late. Make that 23. Whatcha gonna do about that, monkey mind?
Grass wallpaper. Potted palms. Bamboo fountain. Ah serenity. Except for the noisy diners. But actually, they’re perfect. From every part of the room happy folks enjoy a mid-day break with good food and good company. Eight friends over there (a birthday celebration, perhaps) swap personal updates and laugh it up.
I wish I was sitting with my friend enjoying the same. But she’s not here… yet.
I should just call her! Damn. I don’t have her number!
But you know what? That’s fine. Really it is. She’ll get here when she does. And in the meantime, I’m taking notes for this blog. Trying not to do anything else. Because nothing else is needed. It’s nice to sit here.
Are we out of milk? I’d better…
Shut up! No need to think about what I could or should be doing instead of waiting here. So I’ll just sit and breathe. In. Out. Ohmm. Present moment… Wonderf….
Maybe I made the mistake!
Maybe my friend is waiting for me somewhere else and wondering if I blew her off?
Do I grab a table and order something?
Do I want to buy lunch for myself if she doesn’t show?
We’ve got food at home and I’m 10 minutes away.
I don’t need to spend the money. I don’t think I should…
Sigh. Anyone want a monkey?