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Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

Mom, I’m bored!

July 12, 2013

There's nothing to do! (and it's all your fault)

It’s July. Likely the summer doldrums have already moved in. Maybe you’ve already been accosted by your kids’ complaining, “Mom, I’m bored!” in that grating tone they use to let you know you’re failing as a parent.

I didn’t hear “I’m bored” very often from either of my kids. They’re adults now, both professional writers and both comedy improv performers. No lack of creativity there. But my son, now 6’1″ was always a ravenous boy.  From him I often heard “Mom, I’m hungry!” His assumption: it was my job to feed him even when was old enough to take or make his own snack.  Solution: I taught him to cook. Which he still enjoys and is very good at.

When we don’t let  kids experience lulls in “fun time,” when Mom or Dad automatically become The Entertainer, kids are less likely to teach themselves to push through boredom and make their own fun. If we teach kids that it’s our job to do for everything for them, why should they bother learning to be creative? Why should they even bother thinking about what they might enjoy doing?

Summer can feel especially long when every moment of every day is unstructured. But a long summer can be such a gift to the imagination and the spirit. Here are some tips for helping your kids learn to banish boredom and get inspired!

1. Lead by example. There are things you love to do that tap into your creativity and stimulate your imagination. When kids see us being creative and fully involved in a project, they get the message, “In this family we put our imagination to work. And look how much fun and satisfaction we get!”

2. Talk about process. Being creative is often about experimentation and process more than product. When you catch your child in the act of doing something creative let him or her know that you admire their choice of activity. (Don’t worry about the mess!) If they produce a “product,” a drawing, a song, a dance, a video, a dozen cookies, a bird house, a garden, a lemonade stand, or a philanthropic campaign, then ask your child about the experience. How did you do that? What inspired you? How’d you feel while you were in the middle of it? What’d you learn? What would you do differently next time? What are you planning next? etc. These conversations inspire kids to continue being creative.

3. Unplug. With so much unstructured time, plugging in to a game, an app, or Social Media is an easy fix for “I’m bored!” But it’s also a time-sink and it’s not likely to teach your kids anything about their true passions, interests, and creative strengths. Family vacations are a great time to unplug. Sure it’s easier if you’re off the grid, but guess what? Even if you’ve got access, every digital device has a POWER-OFF switch. (Who knew?) Model self-discipline with your own devices. Show your kids what an imaginative adult looks like. Use family vacations to be with the family and play together in new creative ways.

It’s summer. Have fun as a family and show your kids how to do it on their own.

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