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Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

Ice skating lessons of redemption and grace

February 9, 2014

Last night’s team figure skating short program was packed with teachable moments. Not all were visible on the ice.

I deserve to be here

Ashley Wagner, “I deserve to be here.”

I’ll start with the music Ashley Wagner chose. Even if you never heard of Pink Floyd, that song, Shine On You Crazy Diamond, had to have made an impression for what it wasn’t: classical or Broadway. At times haunting, heartbreakingly beautiful and defiant the song was written in 1974 as a tribute to former band member Syd Barrett who suffered from mental illness purportedly triggered by drug use. The band got to a point where they couldn’t abide by Barrett’s behavior, but they loved, respected and admired him for what he had brought to the “team.”

What’s that got to do with Ashley Wagner? I’m guessing she picked the song for its name. She’s still “shining on” despite her 4th place showing in the US Nationals last month. Coming in 4th when there are only three spots on the US Olympics team usually means you don’t move on. But the officials chose Ashley over 3rd place finisher Mirai Nagasu to represent the US in the Olympics team and the World Championship.  Not everyone was thrilled for Ashley. As every tween and teen knows, when people aren’t happy with you, they try to bury you in social garbage.

But Ashley Wagner didn’t let the crap on social media bring her down. She performed brilliantly last night and because of her efforts, kept the US team’s hopes alive moving into the finals.

Teachable moment: When people hammer  you for not being “deserving” don’t buy it. Do what you need to do and shine on.

Mirai Nagasu, "I'm proud of the way I skated."

Mirai Nagasu, “I’m proud of the way I skated.”

And what of Mirai Nagasu, the skater who, in the view of many, was robbed of her trip to the Olympics team by Ashley? Well, turns out Mirai is a class act. Here’s what she posted on FB:

“Not being chosen to represent the United States at the Olympic Games in Sochi and at the 2014 World Championships in Japan has been extremely disappointing to me, and it has been very difficult for me to process. I know that I performed my best at the US Championships in Boston. I am proud of the way I skated and of being awarded the Bronze Medal,. I want to wish Gracie, Polina, Ashley and the rest of the U.S. Team the best of luck at the 2014 Olympic Games. I will be watching and cheering them on.”

Teachable moment: When you don’t get what you want, breathe, process the disappointment in private, and take the high road in public.

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