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Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

You’ve got to be taught to hate

March 3, 2016

The list of Racist Things that Have Happened at Trump Rallies grows like weeds in manure. With fear and loathing I watch what Trump encourages his followers to do.  As a Jew, I wonder when these bullies will put on their brown shirts. I wonder what it will take to wake-up the media and the community of the open-minded. Are we there yet? Or will it take more violence at one of these rallies? A murder perhaps? Think that will do it?

Where do white supremacists with their anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant, antieveryone but my kind rhetoric learn their lessons of hate?

You've got to be taught to hate and fear.

You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear.

“You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught” is a cage-rattling song from the musical South Pacific. Written in 1949, the song openly examines racial intolerance and its power to divide us. The producers tried to ax it from the show. Fortunately, they didn’t win that argument.

Anyway, here are the lyrics. Find it on YouTube. Powerful stuff:

You’ve got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You’ve got to be taught
From year to year,
It’s got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff’rent shade,
You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You’ve got to be carefully taught!

Just curious, how are you talking to your kids about what’s going on? And while we’re thinking about prejudice, what take-away lessons did you got from your parents when it came to how to treat people who are different from you? In what ways are you transmitting the same or different messages to your kids? As always, your comments are welcome.

Filed under: Parenting — Tags: , , — Annie @ 3:49 pm
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1 Comment »

  1. We have a case study in our own family. My stepkids were raised by two opposite families. My steps learned, through modeling of one family, to be hateful, angry, and (extremely) judgmental (about anything and anyone). One kid has realized that she doesn’t want to be that and is fighting it within herself. The other has had less time with two family comparison and enjoys the drama and self-righteous belief system. When she was younger, we pointed out when she was being extremely mean or judgmental, which helped to help her see what was not acceptable in the secondary house- but it really was too little too late. She went to church as much as could be possible, but her mind was closed. She hates volunteering and service, because she just cannot understand it. There is little to no present or visible empathy, which is an emotional intelligence ability. We just hope that at some point secondary traits kick in or college forces her to reevaluate.

    Comment by Allyson — March 3, 2016 @ 4:37 pm

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