by Mackenzie Gavel

Mackenzie Gavel is an aspiring journalist and a senior at NYU, with a double major in Journalism and Psychology.  Founder of Belittle the Bullies, Mackenzie is also a blogger for CITYist, the online component of City Magazine.

Mackenzie Gavel, circa the Teen Years

Teachers are supposed to be more than educators. They are supposed to be mentors. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. It is a sad day when an adult acts like an adolescent, and an even sadder one when an adolescent finds herself feeling lost and confused in the wake of an adult’s misguided actions.

I am a naturally thin girl. I’ve never had an eating disorder. But in eleventh grade one of my classmates started a rumor that I was anorexic. The lie eventually made its way to the ears of my math teacher, Ms. R. For those of you who read my blog, you know that I was an easy target in high school. To find myself at the face of an ugly rumor was not unusual. But I did not find out about this particular accusation until I sat, crying, and begging for my guidance counselor to believe the truth. The counselor told me that she never had any reason to believe the lies. That was reassuring, but what could I do about the rumor? It’s not easy to prove to people that you don’t have a psychological disorder.

After meeting with my counselor, I angrily confronted Ms. R. Why would she run straight to the counselor before first talking to me?  With just a few questions, I would have told her that one of the other girls had been bullying me —forwarding and changing the wordings of my text messages to the boy I liked and spreading rumors like wildfire.

Ms. R never provided an explanation for her actions and in the weeks that followed she was colder toward me, less approachable. Perhaps she wanted to be the friend to the majority, rather than the advocate for the minority. In doing so she took my life and turned it into a nightmare.

To be the mentors young people need, teachers need to think about their actions. They need to have the proper training to handle difficult situations, and they need to remember that they are the guiding forces in students’ lives.

They need to be more like Mr. McTrunugh, another teacher of mine. One afternoon in his class, a student made a negative comment about my hair style. I did not give her the satisfaction of a reaction, but Mr. McTrunugh told the girl that if she said one more word, it would only prove that she, herself, was unhappy and insecure. Now that is a teacher who was unwilling to stay neutral, sit on the sidelines and watch the bullying play out!

Being a mentor sometimes requires you to stand up for kids. You also have to give them a reason to stand up for themselves with dignity and integrity. A teacher’s job is more than just following a lesson plan. It is to be an advocate, the supportive voice that kids so desperately need to hear.

If there is one lesson that I learned from these painful memories, it is that you never have to apologize to anyone for being who you are. Do not let anyone diminish your integrity. Ever.