Annie Fox's Blog...

Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

“If you don’t come down by the count of 5, you will be pepper sprayed.”

December 8, 2011

Just read a headline in my morning San Francisco Chronicle. “$55,000 for pepper spraying of child.” Sounds a tad extreme. What could possibly cause a cop to use a toxic weapon on a kid?! Well, apparently, back in June 2010, a 7-year-old special education student from San Mateo (who, according to the story, has “learning difficulties, dyslexia, anxiety disorder and social-skill problems”) perched on an “unsteady” piece of classroom furniture and refused to get down. Classroom aides called the police. (Huh?!)  An officer arrived with a can of pepper spray. (You’ve gotta be prepared facing a 2nd grader.)  After warning the child that he’d be pepper sprayed if he didn’t get down by the count of five, the officer sprayed him. According to the filed complaint, the child didn’t know what pepper spray was. Guess that should now be included in the 2nd grade curriculum.

A quick search revealed that in April of this year, another elementary school student in a special education class was a pepper sprayed by police at his Denver school.

The two incidents could easily be lumped together, but they are very different.

In the Denver case, the child behaved violently, throwing furniture, wielding a broken piece of board, cursing and threatening to “kill” his teachers. The police reportedly felt the safety of the teachers and students was threatened and they needed to subdue that 8 year old quickly.

In the San Mateo incident, apparently the child was in danger of tumbling from a bookcase and they needed to subdue that 7 year old quickly.

I wasn’t at either scene, but I’m wondering: if a police officer doesn’t have the common sense and the training to safely get a 7 or 8 year old under control, then what the hell is that officer doing on the force?

I’m also wondering if this isn’t a case of  “When all you’ve got is a can of pepper spray, then everyone looks like a dangerous suspect needing to be subdued quickly.”

Finally, I’m wondering what lessons the victims and rest of the kids in those two classrooms took home that day about police officers and teachers… adults who are supposed to care about kids and know how to take the time to listen to them, to understand and to help.

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Every school needs an OASIS

September 15, 2011

A little break gets you through the day

When adults feel uncomfortable with what’s going on around us, we can often just up and leave.

But if you’re a tween or teen, from 8:20-2:55, Monday through Friday, you’re “doing school.” You’re in lock-down. If your peers make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe or worried or fearful, you’ve just got to suck it up.

Someone once said, “Real life is a mere shadow of high school.” For some kids who live and breathe the drama, they may look back at these years as the highlight of their life. When else do you get to feel so powerful as you immortalize other people’s humiliations?  Broadcast their betrayals? Fire up the feuds with half-truths and lies? Middle and high school students who are into this game may love school because it’s the ultimate reality show and they and their friends are mega-stars.

But not all kids enjoy the sport of tearing down other students. If they themselves are targeted by bullies, they hate the whole scene. Even if the toxicity isn’t directed at them, many kids just don’t like being around it. Either way, where can a kid who wants to opt out of the social garbage and have some peace during lunch to retreat to?

Here’s my idea…

I propose an OASIS… one quiet room in every school, only open at lunch & staffed by a calm teacher who wants to be there. No talking. No texting. Just soothing music. A place where everyone is welcome to just be. Simple, right? All you need is a room. (One thing all schools have plenty of.) No funding. No curriculum. No tests. No thing. Just a room that’s always empty at lunch, a caring teacher and an understanding that we all need an OASIS.

Your thoughts?

 

 

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Guest blogger: I hate homework

July 12, 2011

by Roberto Lebrón

Summer may seem like an odd time to discuss homework, but I can’t think of a better opportunity to appreciate the absence of it. Isn’t that part of the reason families cherish July and August? Because without homework we all have more time to hang out and be a family. Today’s guest blogger is Roberto Lebrón, teacher, artist, writer and  founder of the blog Raising Children on Planet Earth, where you can find “… values and behavior tips and information for brave, loving parents who are willing to do the hard work of raising their own children, instead of delegating their duties to others, including the government, or letting their children raise themselves. You’ll also find food for thought for peaceful, mindful, no-drama dadas and mamas.” AF

I hate homework!

I hate homework.

That may sound strange coming from a teacher. At work, I’ve often heard parents asking teachers for more homework for their children. I’ve also heard parents brag to each other about how good the schools their kids attend are, using the amount of homework their kids get as a measure.

Considering these parents hated homework as students about the same as their own children hate it now, one can wonder why they are so eager to foist upon their children the burdens they resented in their youth. Is this you? Why do you do it?

Perhaps it’s wisdom.

Perhaps parents have learned that what they resented as children was actually good for them — like vegetables. Is this true? Is homework the broccoli of the school world?

Alas, I think not.

The sad truth about homework is that it’s useless makework and, as far as I’m concerned, an unwelcome intrusion into family life. But let me define my terms.

What I Don’t Mean:

When I say, “homework,” this is what I don’t mean:

  • I don’t mean reading material that will be discussed in class, or material on which the students will be tested. That’s called studying.
  • I don’t mean projects to be developed using knowledge acquired in class and research done out of class.
  • I don’t mean the aforementioned research.

What I Do Mean:

  • I mean the other stuff parents love so much because it keeps children busy and out of their hair while they’re at home.
  • I mean that other stuff because when my children are at home, I’d prefer them to enjoy a little something I like to call home life.

If this homework is so important from an academic point of view, I’d just as soon have it done at school, even if that means longer school days. As a matter of fact, I’m all for longer school days, and a longer school year, with shorter vacations. I bet you’re not surprised to hear that coming from a teacher.

Yes, the fact is that, as educators know, and as the President of the United States has acknowledged, we need a longer school year, because we are falling behind other industrialized countries in terms of education. Many of those countries have longer school days and longer school years than we do.

Why Our Calendar Is The Way It Is.

Our school year was designed the way it is in part to allow young people time to work with their families when ours was an economy largely based on agriculture. That reason has gone with the wind. In the meantime, studies have shown that students forget too much of what they’ve learned during the school year during our excessively long summer vacations.

The summer camp industry knows this and many summer camps use this fact to encourage people to enroll their kids in programs that have academic components. This is a poor solution to our problem. Local school boards, not private camps, should determine what our students learn during the summer, and how they learn it. This is our responsibility as a society, and we are neglecting it.

In the end, it may not be necessary to have much less total vacation time during the year. Extending the school day and modifying the length and number of vacations during the year may do the trick. What is clear is that we need to modify our school calendar, and that most homework is a waste of everybody’s time.

Take Action!

1. Get Your Money’s Worth.

  • Your schools are yours. You’re paying for them, whether directly with checks to private schools or indirectly through your taxes. That gives you a voice. Use it.

2. Speak to Parents and Teachers.

  • Speak with other parents. Speak with your children’s teachers.
  • Let them know you value family time in your home, and you don’t appreciate losing this precious time to makework homework.
  • Make a clear distinction between learning to do research or studying for tests, on the one hand, and pointless busywork, on the other.
  • Discuss the need to change our school calendar to keep up with competition in the global marketplace.
  • Parents and teachers should work together as partners. Let your partners know you’re an active participant, and you expect your concerns to be taken seriously.

3. Contact Your School Board.

  • In most places, School Board members are elected officials. Reach out to them and let them know your concerns.
  • Let them know you have seen past the myth of homework. You know that overwhelming children with makework homework is not a sign of a good education.
  • Emphasize the need for family time at home free of useless busywork.
  • Call for a modification of our school calendar to catch up with other countries.
  • Don’t get discouraged when your first efforts are dismissed. Moving bureaucracies to change is difficult, but not impossible. Pace yourself, and don’t give up.
  • The above goes for your state’s Department of Education, too.

4. Use Your Tools.

  • Share this article on Facebook. Tweet it. Stumble it. Spread the word.

You are not alone in feeling that our children need to be unburdened from most if not all of their take-home busywork. They deserve more family time today and a better chance at success tomorrow. You can help make “Less Homework” a reality in schools everywhere. Do it.

 

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The Influence of Teachers

June 28, 2011

Because I write for kids about social and emotional learning I spend a fair amount of time in schools presenting to students, teachers and parents. My perception of any school is only a snapshot, but it’s often revealing and well… educational.

Over the years I’ve had the privilege of meeting and observing many many wonderful administrators, counselors and teachers. These men and women are highly effective educators and leaders, as well as compassionate human beings and beloved mentors. Each is a special gift to their students but it’s a gift all students deserve.

In my travels I’ve also encountered those who seriously have no business working with kids. A middle school coach who screams like a Marine drill sergeant. A teacher who sarcastically greets a specialist with: “Thank god you’re here. JOEY! GO!! Take him!” A school secretary who viciously brow-beats a timid group of late-arriving students.

Once, during a professional training I led (for which all teachers were paid to attend) one teacher continuously texted, one slept, and another graded papers never once looking up or participating in a lively discussion on how to encourage students to be more respectful in class.

When I encounter folks like these I wonder, Why are these people permitted to teach? Everyone knows who the “bad” teachers in any school are and yet year after year their principals agree to let them continue damaging children. Why?! How do the bad teacher’s students and their parents feel about the sentence they’re serving in that class? What, if any, are their rights? How does having a bad teacher as a colleague makes the good teachers at the school feel?

A book that can change American public education

A book that can change American public education

John Merrow, author of The Influence of Teachers: Reflections on Teaching and Leadership, has also wondered and researched and documented these issues and others. The result is the best book about education I’ve ever read. Merrow has been covering the field for NPR and PBS since 1974 and is currently Education Correspondent for PBS NewsHour and President of Learning Matters, Inc., an independent production company in New York City.

I love books that make me think in new ways. I especially appreciate those that shine a well-informed light on the political and social dynamics of institutions that affect children. Merrow knows the situation in American public schools. He’s taken the time to interview district-wide stake-holders in many communities. He finds too many public and charter schools damaging the kids they ought to be committed to serve. In light of the ongoing national conversation on school reform, this isn’t a surprise. What is surprising is how directly Merrow defines the problem and calls out those most responsible for perpetuating a broken system. The way he sees it, leadership is key and that key has been missing for too long at the district, school and classroom levels.

If you’re lucky enough to be satisfied with your kids’ schools you might think, “Yeah, that’s a shame, but it’s not my problem.” Of course it is. Kids coming out of under-functioning schools are heading toward an adulthood with few bright options and many frustrations. Cheated by their schools, they’re turned out into society under-educated and lacking the ability to think critically. With what they’ve been given, they can’t succeed. In a nation that claims “Our children are our greatest resource” that is nothing short of criminal.

I urge you to read The Influence of Teachers. Encourage parents, teachers, administrators, superintendents to do the same. Come armed with it to the fall’s first PTO meeting. Get real about what’s broken in your school. Use John Merrow’s strong recommendations and work together.  We’ve got to do this for our kids. If not, they can rightly assume we don’t care all that much about them or the country’s future.

 

UPDATE: Exciting news! A new teacher training bill was introduced in the Senate on Wednesday. It’s called Crowing Excellent Achievement Training Academies for Teachers and Principals. Read more.

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