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Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

Loyalty Oath

July 14, 2010

When I ask t(w)eens what makes a real friend vs. the Other Kind, the word “loyal” usually tops the list, along with respectful, trustworthy and fun to be with. When I ask how a friend shows loyalty I usually hear stuff like:

“They are there for you even if other people ditch you.”

“They’d never flirt with your crush or go out with your ex!”

“They don’t talk about you behind your back.”

“They always have your back.”

“They stick up for you even when you’re not around.”

After reading today’s Zits, I wonder if loyalty also requires you to hate the people your friends hate. And if you don’t hate your  friends’ enemies or demonstrate a “sufficient level of distain,” by teasing, bullying and otherwise harassing said “enemy”, does that make you a bad friend? Put you at risk for landing on your friend’s Enemies List?

Probably.

Hmmm. Sounds like this might be a conversation worth having with your friends (or with your kids.). Your thoughts?

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