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Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

“I can’t help it if I’ve got an attitude!”

February 18, 2012

What attitude?!

For those who’ve ever been told you’ve got a problem with your attitude, read this email I got today. It might help you.

BROKEN HEARTED GIRL: Hey Terra, my bf used to constantly warn me that if I didn’t change my attitude he would break up with me. Being the type of person I am, I just disregarded it and thought that he would always be there for me. Well, obviously I was wrong because he just broke up with me! He says he still wants us to be close friends, but I don’t think I can take that because I still want to be with him. And what if he gets another girlfriend?! I’m going to be overly depressed like I am right now. So what do I do??

TERRA (aka Annie): Hi Broken Hearted Girl. What do you think he meant when he talked about your “attitude”?

BROKEN HEARTED GIRL: I really dont know. But everyone says that you can tell when I’m on my period because I am literally a “bitch” to everyone. And that’s mostly when he would tell me about my “attitude.” I guess I’m very mean and nagging at times, I dont know..

TERRA: If you really ‘don’t know’ then try looking more closely, because it’s important for you to understand what you’re doing that’s pushing people away. How else will you be able to stop doing it??

Try this: Picture the last time you were a “bitch” to everyone. Play it back in your head as if you were watching a movie. What do you see yourself doing? How are you treating people? How would you feel if someone treated you that way? How much would you want to hang out with them? Probably not a whole lot.

I understand all about hormones and PMS, but you can not let your period be an easy excuse for being rude and disrespectful. And unless you figure out some ways to chill and tone down the bitchiness, you will be driving good loving people away from you. I’m sure that’s not what you want. So… take a good close look at this behavior and get more in control of it.

BROKEN HEARTED GIRL (an hour later): Thanks a lot for the advice. You’ve been a big help.

TERRA: You’re very welcome, BHG. I know, you’ve already got everything you need to be the kind of person you want to be. Go for it!

Filed under: Teens — Tags: , , , — Annie @ 6:36 pm
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