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March 6, 2011
 Red alert! Kids behaving badly. I don’t know how to mind my own business. It’s not like I snoop or gossip (much), but when someone needs help I usually offer. When kids are involved, no hesitation.
It’s occupational conditioning. Every day t(w)eens invite me into their business through emails like:
- My best gal friend just broke up with her boyfriend and I wanna ask her out but I don’t know how long I should wait.
- I’m scared that I might be pregnant.
- I go to school everyday wanting to cry in the bathroom and stay there forever.
They ask: “What should I do??” So I tell them what I think. This has been going on for 14 years, so it’s pretty much a habit online and off. But come to think of it, I’ve been this way for much longer than that. It probably started when I was 10 and joined my school’s Safety Patrol. My first day I was assigned to the kindergarten playground and broke up a shoving match between two very upset boys. Somehow I managed to get them to stop crying and start talking to each other. Watching them go play together, I was hooked on helping.
I turned in my silver badge at the end of 5th grade, but my license to butt in never expired. I’ve stepped right in when I witnessed a kid:
- steal an umbrella from a parked car
- mercilessly yank her dog’s leash
- choke his “friend”
- mock another kid
- tell a racist joke
These kids were messing up, they needed help, so I offered a course-correction. I’m not a hero so don’t nominate me. Simple truth, I speak out because I’m afflicted with the “I’m Part of the Village” form of Tourette’s and in these situations I literally cannot keep my mouth shut (ask my husband or our mortified children.) I’m sure a muzzle would help, but I’m not looking for a cure. In fact, I’d like to infect all of you.
Kids out in the world on their own make mistakes and they need correction from adults. When they get that timely feedback, especially from a stranger, it’s a huge wake-up call. Guaranteed, they’re less likely to do it again.
So here’s what I’m proposing… join my Butt In campaign. It comes with a free license to respectfully speak to any kid who needs to hear that what (s)he’s doing right now isn’t OK. If the idea of spontaneous intervention evokes thoughts of: “What other people’s kids do isn’t my business!” I say, I’m not buying it. I mean look where you are. You’re reading Annie Fox’s blog! The only people who show up here take parenting/mentoring very seriously.
Kids growing up right is everyone’s business. Which reminds me, your Butt In license also gives you unlimited rights to toss a smile and a passing compliment to any kid who’s doing something admirable. “Thanks for holding the door.” “Good job helping Mom.” “He’s lucky to have you as a friend.” “What a terrific big sister you are!”
Compliment or course correction, either way, it’s not that hard. And even when it is… think of the good karma points you’re racking up.
OK, Butt-inskys. We’re in this together, right? Good luck! Let’s keep each other posted.
August 8, 2010
 "The Immortality of Influence: We Can Build the Best Minds of the Next Generation" by Salome Thomas-El With the new school year just weeks away, I wanted to interview a superstar educator. Someone who could inspire every adult who lives or works with kids. And we all need inspiration and motivation from time to time, right? Because kids, especially tweens and teens, aren’t always easy to hang in there with. To find the right guest, I went to my local Inspiration and Resource Department (aka Twitter) and I found the man for the job — Salome Thomas-El. He goes by the name of Principal El and for 20 years he’s walked the walk by influencing his students and helping them reach their full potential. Know how he does it? By encouraging kids, non-stop. As Principal El puts it, “I keep letting them know that I believe in them until they’re ready to believe in themselves.”
Principal EL is a regular contributor on “The Dr. Oz Show.” He’s also the author of two best-selling books, I Choose to Stay: A Black Teacher Refuses to Desert the Inner City, about his teaching experience in Philadelphia, and his new book, The Immortality of Influence: We Can build the Best Minds of the Next Generation, which stresses the importance of mentoring, parenting and service to others.
Principal El has a life-long commitment to answering this basic question, “How do we ensure that every child achieves his or her greatest potential?” This question lies at the heart of the current national dialogue on education policy, the day in-and-day out work of school personnel, and the hopes of every parent.
As a parent, you are your child’s #1 Influencer. If you’re ready to have your batteries recharged for all the challenges the new school year will bring, then let’s talk about how to best use the tremendous influence you have with your children. Listen to my interview with Principal El right here:
[QUICKTIME http://www.anniefox.com/podcast/FC017.m4a 300 300 false true]
If you have iTunes, you can subscribe to this podcast in the iTunes Store.
Or, you can download an MP3 version here.
Upcoming guests include:
Dr. Elizabeth J. Meyer, author of Gender, Bullying and Harassment: Strategies to End Sexism and Homophobia in Schools
Dr. Leah Klungness and Rachel Sarah co-founders of SingleMommyhood.com. Dr. Leah is the co-author of The Complete Single Mother. Rachel is the author of Single Mom Seeking: Playdates, Blind dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World.
David McQueen, international speaker empowering adults and youth alike on subjects such as leadership, careers and communication skills.
Dr. Karyn Purvis, co-author (with Dr. David Cross, Wendy Lyons Sunshine) of The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family
March 1, 2010
By Carmen Alisa Sweeney-Rios
Carmen Alisa Sweeney-Rios became a single mom at 16. After a second teen pregnancy and a battle with depression for most of her teen and adult life, she dug deep to find answers. Now recovered from depression, married and the mom of six sons, Carmen shares her journey along with the stories of others whose lives have been affected by teen pregnancy in her blog. You can also follow her on twitter. That’s where I met her. Here’s to you and your journey, Carmen!
 She's so impressionable. Make an impression that helps her stay strong. Sometimes it is easier to give in than to stand up and fight for what we know is right. When times are tough and the goal seems impossible to reach, it is then that we need the hand of a friend to pull us ahead and lead us with kindness in their voice. Life is tough in general and when environmental megaphones such as peer pressure, puberty and powerful media campaigns get an anchor on our adolescent girls, they need a hand to hold and a voice to lead them out of the deep.
Would you like to be that hand and voice in her life? Be there for your daughter, your granddaughter, your niece, your patient or that struggling foster child. One by one, hand in hand, we can make an impact on their lives and a difference in the future or our young women. Let them know that they are not alone and teach them the road to happiness and success is found through self-respect, communication, education and discipline. You will both have a brighter future because of this.
Our adolescent girls need to be taken care of, supervised, educated, empowered and loved. Be the one to do this for her or she will find a young man with other priorities who will be the hand and voice. Do you think his message will be similar to yours or as healthy? Because of her need for guidance and love, she may choose to give in to him and before you know it her smile becomes a bridge of tears and her life full of chaos and fear. Talk to her, be there for her, so that she may make an educated choice that will lead her into a bright future, not one of adversity and despair. Care enough to make a difference in the life of a child. They need you. Don’t abandon them. Love them. Supervise them. Educate them.
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