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Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

She promised she wouldn’t tell my crush, but she told him anyway!

November 6, 2014

Girls' Q&A Book Blog Tour Bus. Fueled by good will and good friendship strategies. Zero carbon emissions.

Thanks to PhotoShop, anyone can have a customized tour bus!

When my tripped-out Girls’ Q&A Book on Friendship blog tour bus pulled up at UnhookedMedia.com, Megan Hunter (@UnhookedBooks) served up some of the most drama-inducing girl friendship questions ever. Like this one…

Question: After telling a girl that I liked a boy in my class, she promised not to tell anyone and then… she told him!  Now I feel awkward around him and his friends and mostly want to be invisible. I’m mad at the girl and don’t want to be her friend anymore. How do I handle this?

Annie: One of the most important parts of a friendship is trust. If you and your friend totally trust each other, you can relax because you can count on each other to be supportive and respectful. You trusted the girl to keep her promise. For whatever reason, she spilled the beans. It is understandable you are angry. You don’t trust her and you don’t want to count on her as a friend any more. But wouldn’t you like to know why she broke that promise? I would!

Did you hear....???

Did you hear….???

I suggest you have a private face-to-face conversation with this girl. Make sure you are in a quiet place where you can talk without interruption. You don’t need an audience, that only creates more drama and you’ve already had enough, right? When the two of you are alone, you might say something like this: “I’m very upset you broke your promise not to tell ______ that I like him. Why did you do that?” Then be quiet, stay calm, and let her answer the question. This is how we communicate in a friendship. We let people know how we feel and we give them a turn to explain their side of the story. We listen to each other and try to find a way through the problem.

As for feeling “awkward” around the boys… obviously what your friend told your crush can’t be taken back. Now he knows you like him maybe this will turn out to be a good thing. It’s possible! Here’s something you can try to make you feel less awkward and more powerful: The next time you see this boy take some slow deep breaths and say to yourself, “He knows I like him. Liking someone isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m going to hold my head up, be confident, and smile.” Then do it.

For the rest of my Q & A with Megan Hunter (@UnhookedBooks) read on…

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