You want to stake us? We don't think so.

They were so cute when I brought them home. And so cooperative when I tucked them in. First lining their beds with just the right amount of $14-a-box-organic-plant-food. They never struggled or popped up making demands. They just smiled up at me as if to say, “It’s so reassuring to be in the hands of someone who knows what she’s doing.” And when I went back at the end of each day to water them and admire their progress… they seemed to take it in stride. Not a whit of arrogance.

But then over the past few weeks as the weather’s turned warmer, I’ve notice a certain cheekiness that wasn’t there before. Not that I mentioned it to anyone (because I’m not that kind of gardener) but it had become obvious that my tomato plants were getting too big for their cages. They were falling all over each other, creeping onto the path, tripping visitors and generally showing no consideration for anyone.

Clearly I needed to teach them some manners and that required lots of gardening tape and bamboo stakes. A simple enough job, I thought. Ha! Getting down on my hands and knees at the base of the largest plant, it was obvious that I’d given them free-rein for too long. What a chaotic jumble of stems and leaves! Impossible to sort out and stake them properly.

During the first two minutes I saw the futility of the task and started grumbling, “This is so annoying.” But then I perked up. “Oh good! I can blog about it!” But the truth is, I wasn’t annoyed because, for me, annoyance is about my response to someone else’s behavior. The tomato plants weren’t actually doing anything to me or consciously thwarting my efforts at tidiness. So, in my book, my staking failures weren’t an annoyance. Something else was going on. When I can’t effectively do what I’m attempting… parallel park, getting my computer to move faster, unlocking the font door lock so I can get inside quickly to pee… that’s not annoyance… it’s unmitigated frustration.

If you can’t see the difference, then that’s annoying. Or… maybe it’s frustrating.