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Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

Despite what you’re seeing, Americans are not filled with hate

March 11, 2016

Open letter to all people of good will living outside the United States:

hate (2)If you have been shocked and dismayed by what’s happening at Donald Trump campaign rallies, so have millions of Americans. Mr. Trump’s racist, anti-Muslim, sexist, anti-immigrant rhetoric and the violence he insights has appalled us. We are deeply troubled by and frightened at the possibility of a Trump presidency. But instead of soul-searching and doing the societal work to reduce racism and xenophobia in America, we’ve simply scratched our heads and asked: What the hell is going on with these Trump supporters that they are so filled with hate? I’ve asked myself that question repeatedly as Trump rally assaults continue. But I won’t be asking it any more. It’s a meaningless question.

To be “filled with hate” implies that nothing but hate exists within a person. We all have the seeds of hate within us. We also have a lot more. We are at the affect of an ever-changing mix of emotions that can, in an instant, turn a rational, cooperative person into a raging monster. We know this is true. We’ve seen it happen in ourselves. We’ve all, at times, been so filled with anger and resentment and so blinded by fear and ignorance we have wished another harm. We might have even felt so pushed over the edge that we acted on those feelings with ugly words and clenched fists.

There is no  excuse or justification for violence. Our only hope is understanding how emotions affect us so we can learn to manage them without resorting to violence. That is our greatest human challenge.

Here in America, many of us have taken up this challenge within ourselves. We are also working to educate our children in the ways of non-violence. Undoubtedly, you are doing the same work.  Wish us well in this endeavor. We wish you the same. Our shared humanity depends on it.

Filed under: Parenting — Tags: , , , — Annie @ 11:29 am
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