"Parents' Guide to the Middle School Years" by Joe Bruzzese
In honor of the upcoming 1st anniversary of the launch of our podcast series Family Confidential we remastered the first two podcasts to improve the sound quality. We’ve learned a lot in the past year about how to produce great podcasts. We must be doing something right because we’ve had close to 18,000 downloads of these puppies.
So… for your listening enjoyment, here’s Podcast #01: The Gift of Confidence (redux)
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We all want our kids to succeed and grow up up to be confident, resilient, thoughtful young adults who can competently manage their own lives. But sometimes what we say we want is at odds with our parenting choices. Boy is it ever! Especially when it comes to doing what’s really necessary to help our children develop independence. Like when we say: “Your homework is your responsibility” and then spend the entire afternoon and evening nagging: “Do you have a lot of homework?” “How much do you have?” “I thought you were working on your homework!” “Did you finish your homework?” “Let me check your homework.” Auugggh! Not only will all this micro-managing create loads of tension, it’s also doing nothing to encourage self-confidence in your child.
In this episode of Family Confidential, The Gift of Confidence, I talk with Joe Bruzzese M.A., author of “A Parents’ Guide to the Middle School Years”. Joe’s book and his ongoing work as a parent coach offer practical advice for building confidence in your child.
Listen here (QuickTime required):
[QUICKTIME http://www.anniefox.com/podcast/FC001.m4a 300 300 false true]
If you have iTunes, you can subscribe to this podcast in the iTunes Store.
Or, you can download an MP3 version here.
Subscribe to Family Confidential and tune in each time!
*What’s a podcast? “A podcast is a series of digital media files, usually either digital audio or video, that is made available for download via web syndication.” — Wikipedia… So, in this case, there’s an audio file for you to listen to (in addition to reading the above).
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Annie, Thank you for providing this wonderful resource for parents. It’s never too late for parents to work on creating a healthier dynamic in their relationship with a child — one that encourages the child to work through frustration and failure, rather than being constantly bailed out by the parent. But, parents may not realize that the development of a child’s self-confidence begins at the beginning, in infancy.
When a parent hands a baby the toy he is struggling to reach, or moves a baby from the floor to a sitting position because we think he’s “bored”, or ‘helps’ a toddler finish the puzzle he’s stuck on, the parent is undermining a child’s burgeoning self-confidence. Infants and toddlers can tolerate frustation. They don’t expect life to be easy. We spoil the child when we ‘help’ too much in the beginning and give the child the sense he must depend on the parent to do everything for him. We underestimate babies all the time!
Children of all ages need the opportunity to overcome obstacles and the chance to struggle to solve problems. Even babies need to be able to accomplish for themselves. We must be constantly attuned to our child, trusting him, and staying out of the way as much as possible, right from the beginning. THAT is the way self-confidence is built. I’ve written many articles about this on my website. Here’s a recent one: http://bit.ly/bw72bh
Comment by janetlansbury — March 8, 2010 @ 4:11 pm