Annie Fox's Blog...

Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

Broken kids are breaking all of us

October 2, 2010

Yesterday my friend Rachel wrote to find out if I’d blogged yet about the cyberbullying incident that ended in a Rutgers University freshman killing himself. I told her the news had really depressed me but that I didn’t have any insights that couldn’t be found elsewhere. I mean what do you say when (yet another) teen is so victimized by bullies he/she can’t figure out what the hell to do to make things OK again and gives up everything just to end the suffering? I’ve got nothing to say. I’m sitting here crying. The casualness with which these acts of torment are perpetrated absolutely stuns me. But what else is new?

So, no.  I wasn’t going to write anything.

Then I watch Ellen Degeneres on video talking about this senseless act of cruelty. Looking straight at the camera and with obvious emotion Ellen said, “It’s hard enough being a teen and figuring out who you are without people attacking you.” To the adults watching she said, “There are messages everywhere that validate this kind of bullying and taunting and we have to make it stop.” And to the kids watching, she offered this, “…things will get easier. People’s minds will change and you should be alive to see it.”

Still I was not going to blog about what happened to Tyler Clementi and what he did as a result. Even though his death was the fourth in a string of Welcome Back-to-School homophobic attacks on teens that ended in suicide. It all sucks, but what more is there to say?

Then I listened to Justin Patchin of the Cyberbullying Research Center, a clearinghouse of information dedicated to providing information about  “…the nature, extent, causes and consequences of cyberbullying amongst adolescents.” Patchin told NPR’s Melissa Block that when he speaks to teens who use their phones and computers to commit these acts of intentional cruelty they “genuinely do not realize that harm could come from it.” He went on to say that these kids “don’t see it as something wrong.” Rather, they think of what they’re doing as “fun or funny” and “not that big of a deal.”

That’s when I knew I needed to write. The tormentors don’t see it as something wrong?! For real?!! If that’s the case then we’re looking at a whole lot of broken kids. Broken in a way that prevents them from thinking beyond the itch of “Hey I got a great idea!” So broken they blithely launch a personally addressed cluster bomb packed with malice and truly believe it’s “not a big deal.”

With kids like that as our only hope for the future we ‘d be in deep doodoo.

Fortunately, these aren’t the only kids out there. There are plenty of kids and adults who aren’t buying into the notion that any of this is fun or funny. They’re deadly serious about fighting back, supporting each other and changing the Culture of Cruelty for any kid, tween or teen who’s catching flak for being different. GLBT teens, check out Dan Savage’s new “It Gets Better” project.

Oh, and by the way, October is National Bullying Prevention Month… Don’t just sit there, be part of the solution.

UPDATE: 6:49 PM Talk about cyber-bullying, just came back from The Social Network, a cautionary tale from the Real Friends vs. The Other Kind  files. Totally worth seeing.

 

UPDATE: March 16, 2012 Today, a New Jersey jury found Dharun Ravi, Tyler Clementi’s former roommate guilty of bias intimidation among other charges.

UPDATE: May 21, 2012 Superior Court Judge Glen Berman handed down Dharun Ravi’s sentence: 30 days in jail and 3 years probation after having been found guilty of numerous crimes, including invasion of privacy and bias intimidation (a hate crime)  http://video.msnbc.msn.com/nightly-news/47511677/#47511677

---------

43 Comments »

  1. [...] Fox’s “Broken Kids Are Breaking All of Us” links to Ellen Degeneris’s powerful videotaped statement about bullying and [...]

    Pingback by Fixing hate online and offline: All hands on deck! | NetFamilyNews.org — October 2, 2010 @ 4:17 pm

  2. Thanks for posting on this. Along these lines, I loved Jay Asher’s Thirteen Reasons Why. I think it should be required reading for all teens because it helps kids understand that harm really can come from seemingly meaningless acts.

    Comment by Erin @ Letter Soup — October 2, 2010 @ 7:10 pm

  3. Annie-
    I know that you are such a voice in the anti-bullying arena. I hope that kids who are being bullied will find a safe harbor with adults, such as yourself, within their own communities.

    Thanks for your terrific work-

    Louise Sattler
    HerInsight Media

    Comment by Louise Sattler — October 2, 2010 @ 7:23 pm

  4. Hi Annie,

    You are doing a lot to get your anti-bullying message out. Thank you for sharing your genuine feelings. I also appreciate the research you do to keep us informed.

    Comment by Jean Tracy, MSS — October 2, 2010 @ 7:50 pm

  5. Thank you. I will keep this in mind as I raise my son. He is still young but I really hope he realizes the impact of his actions. I think working through sibling sentiments and interactions can help with this.

    -CK

    Comment by CK — October 2, 2010 @ 8:36 pm

  6. In society, we too often teach kids to NOT fight back when attacked. They feel that they have no way out. Authority gives a slap on the wrist to the bullies and tell the victims that they cannot fight back. The bullies are often the “in” people at school and are allowed to do things because they are.

    It may sound terrible however, in some way, we need to teach kids that when they are picked on, bullied, made fun of, it is OK to stand up and say no to it. Authority has to say no to it also. Authority MUST allow kids to defend themselves.

    A few years ago, I watched a video on teen suicide in a workshop at the school I taught at. The father of the suicide victim talked about how his son was treated at school. I sat with tears streaming down my face. Others commented on what a terrible school it was that did not address the issues that this father presented. When it was over, I stood up and addressed the group and said – The boy who committed suicide should have graduated from our school. The school the father is talking about is our school. The boy’s teachers were us. They did not even realize that this person was one of their students. He was in the same classes as my son who was also bullied. It has negatively affected my son. I told my son to fight back and take the punishment whatever it might be. He did. He survived. It gave him a set of skills in dealing with this type of behavior that does not work in our PC society that really is not PC.

    At some point we need to say to these kids who are being victimized that the punishment that is given for fighting back is better than any other alternative and it should not stop them from standing up and protecting themselves.

    In Laurie Anderson’s book SPEAK, it says that the bullies of the elementary playground become the foot ball players of the high school. That is very true. And no one wants to seriously discipline the “jocks” because if they are suspended from school they cannot play and if they do not play the school cannot win and so it is free reign for them to bully and beat on kids who have been taught to not fight back.

    Comment by Tricia Munson — October 3, 2010 @ 5:39 am

  7. This is such a hard thing for everyone to live with…there is no easy way to build in tolerance in other people . We can hope our own children are compassionate and caring young children who grow up into compassionate and caring adults.

    Comment by Julia Simens — October 3, 2010 @ 5:45 am

  8. Annie – you hit the nail on the head. I called out your post in my blog today to all. If activities such as this are found to be acceptable, we are in deep doo-doo and it does suck.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    All the very best,
    Christopher
    @BurgessCT

    Comment by Christopher Burgess — October 3, 2010 @ 6:07 am

  9. Hi Annie,

    As I think you know, you’re a great role model for me — someone whose life shows me how my own life could be be and go. I’d love to be one of the Annie Fox-es of the world :).

    The Tyler Clementi incident has served to push things to the edge for me. I find myself needing to know, “What can *I DO*??” Because what I CAN’T do is keep being a well-intentioned but largely inactive witness to what is happening to our culture. We already are “in deep doodoo.”

    “There are messages everywhere that validate this kind of bullying and taunting,” is very true and very, very, very not ok. And so at this point in time, to not be part of the solution really is to be part of the problem.

    HOW CAN I *FOR REAL* BE PART OF THE SOLUTION??

    And then, just yesterday, via Twitter, I became aware of Challenge Day http://www.challengeday.org/index.php. THIS is how I will be an active part of the solution.

    I’m on fire.

    Thank you, Annie, for the light you shine and the clear seeing you create!

    :)
    Jeanne

    Comment by Jeanne Demers — October 3, 2010 @ 6:28 am

  10. Thank you for this, Annie. I’m glad my asking if you were thinking of writing something led you to draw together these thoughts and share your insights. The tragedy is horrible enough, but to think that we have so many broken kids – kids who can’t see anything wrong with publicly humiliating another person – is just as tragic, and it portends a very dark time to come. I don’t know how we can turn this around, but we must.

    Comment by Rachel Simon — October 3, 2010 @ 7:28 am

  11. Jeanne,

    I have attended a Challenge Day twice, and let me tell you-one activity they do is so raw, so powerful, that the kids never forget it. *I* have never forgotten it.

    The only problem is that if the school staff are not all on board, if they don’t all participate and show a united front, the lessons learned at Challenge Day can quickly fall away weeks or months later. That’s the REAL Challenge. We adults need to remind the kids when it becomes easy to do what’s EASY, not what’s RIGHT.

    I work in high schools and see the cruelty and bullying every day. What makes it SO HARD to stop is that our community, our culture, makes this sort of behavior okay. Often school staff feel helpless to stop it because no matter what we do, there are people who still think this type of behavior is okay. We can only do so much. We need the entire community to stand up and say, “no more”. My own son was bullied a lot in younger grades and while adults knew about it, NOBODY would help stop it. It wasn’t until Jake became bigger and we told him to defend himself if he needed to (and he did) that the kids backed off. Even still, just last week his laptop (used for school because of a motor disability) was tossed and damaged. What happened? The kid was “spoken to”. This is after a whole year or two of kids threatening to break it, sticking pens in the USB ports, slamming it shut while he’s working, banging on the keys, shutting it off, ripping out the cords, etc.

    Challenge day is AMAZING. I highly recommend it. My only caution is not to let it be a one or two day event. The real change only happens if people make it a school wide change.

    Comment by Scatteredmom — October 3, 2010 @ 10:18 am

  12. I wrote a bit about this the other day too frpm the perspctive of a parent and LGBT ally. http://www.theconnectedmom.com/2010/10/i-love-you.html

    Comment by Jenn - Connected Mom — October 3, 2010 @ 10:51 am

  13. First I want to thank you for having the gentle heart that you do. So many rely on your passion to make it through the day.

    I believe, and will not stop believing, that this is a situation where we, as a group need to show children that we stand together. There are more of us that care and respect individuality than those who want to make fun of it. We need to teach our children that when someone has been called out to be made fun of or to embarrass that we don’t stand silent. We march right up to them in the hall and say, Wow what a creep, don’t give it a second thought, we support YOU, not him!\n
    We need to inform parents that this is totally doable. Our society need parents to encourage their child and their child’s friends to do this together as a group. That way the group can support each other as they support the child who was called out. We need to begin reestablishing community in our lives, that’s where the power is.
    Just my two cents. Thanks for giving us this forum to state our feelings about these types of horrors and for being the wonderful support that you are.
    Sharon Silver-Proactive Parenting dot net

    Comment by Sharon Silver — October 3, 2010 @ 11:02 am

  14. I think now a lot of us are outraged, crushed and disgusted. We WANT to change this. What we need is a concrete action plan. What do we do? Big things? Little things?

    I know I watch my kids facebook, listen to how they relate to their peers, comment when I see something inappropriate, try to discuss how a persons words can hurt – not preach but discuss it all the way through – hopefully reaching my kids in a place that sticks with them. But what else do we do? I have discussed topics like equality, homosexuality and acceptance openly since they were young (in age appropriate context) It is more of an on-going dialogue than a one time discussion. And I “walk the walk” in my every day life. I have friends of every walk of life. I don’t make stereotypical jokes and ask my kids not to either and why (when they first started hearing them).

    Is that enough? What else can we and should we be doing? How can we stop this? I know there are kids who are afraid to tell their parents – because the KNOW they will not be accepted. That breaks my heart the most – to think of a great kid being rejected by his own parents. What do we DO?

    Comment by momsthoughts — October 3, 2010 @ 11:57 am

  15. This is a wonderfully heartfelt post. Thank you for writing it.

    I have to think so much of the lack of feeling on the part of kids using social media for bullying is the fact that so many schools ban social media sites and the tools that kids use to access them. My school district is one. We don’t do anything to educate the kids about appropriate and responsible texting, messaging, commenting, etc. And many of the parents are clueless as to how their children are using these sites.

    We need to advocate in our schools to educate kids AND parents about how to use these tools appropriately. We address bullying in our schools… and they even mention cyberbullying. BUT they don’t allow access during school. It doesn’t make sense to me.

    Thanks again for this post!

    Comment by Michelle Baldwin — October 3, 2010 @ 10:56 pm

  16. This is one important message about teen bullying. We as a society have to change. We as parents have to take reasonability to bring up open minded and caring kids. I think that our kids need to be expose what being different is all about in our society.

    Comment by Kathleen McCool — October 4, 2010 @ 5:32 am

  17. Thank you, friend. That’s the best that I can do right now. Much love to you and to all of our kids.

    Comment by Andrea Patten — October 4, 2010 @ 1:37 pm

  18. I was a tormented teenager myself which makes me a determined parent to equip my children (7, 5 and 3) with the skills they need to keep clear of all those bullies in the world. Here are a few of our family philosophies:
    1. Stay away from mean people. If they are mean, get away from them as fast you can because you don’t need to take anything they are saying. This includes siblings. My kids will even tell me when I am being mean and I thank them for keeping me in check.
    2. When you try to be cool, you are not cool. Since he could crawl, my son has always been attracted to the trouble makers on the playground. Playing dead, killing people, acting rough has just always been his “thing” much to my dismay. We always talk about the “uncool” behaviors so they hopefully will understand that being “real” is cool.
    3. Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. This should be everyone’s motto and I am often saddened when I hear people who teach their children to retaliate. No one wins in a war, we don’t want our children fighting and a hot headed kid not getting a rise out of the victim will get bored and move on.
    4. Find strength and comfort in God who loves all children. We are working through a 31 day prayer journal right now teaching our children core Biblical truths that will be a source of comfort throughout their lives and hopefully their strength in those teenage years.
    I’m not an expert. People can disagree with everything that I say and that is OK. I am just a survivor of the teenage years who has been through everything and know what I personally could have used to make the years a little less rough.
    Thank you, Annie, for being an expert! I’ll be sure to check back often!
    Mona Colwell
    @colwellstars

    Comment by Mona Colwell — October 4, 2010 @ 1:46 pm

  19. Thanks Annie for your post, summed up my tears in one page. How can we give would-be-bullies the emotional love and support they clearly aren’t getting from their own families to prevent such tragedies from befalling on the rest of the good children in this world? Surely it takes a village to raise kind-not-cruel children, but where are those children’s parents in all this conversation? Are they listening, too?

    Comment by Denise — October 4, 2010 @ 4:28 pm

  20. Great post Annie! I have to agree with one comment here and add my own .02. Because schools are so afraid of being sued, they often allow our children’s tormenters actions to fall through the cracks. As one commenter said, we must teach our children that it is ok to take a stand and stand up to bullies. It’s ok to speak out! I firmly believe that when youths have a strong sense of their own personal power they are less likely to look for a way out in the form of suicide.

    The other part of this is that we have a whole lot of broken parents, who through their broken marriages and relationships have shown our children a lack of empathy and understanding in how they’ve treated former spouses, or “baby’s mammas/daddys.” Though children definitely have a mind of their own, much of that mind is formed as we adults model life skills in front of them everyday. So long as the family continues to dissolve and households become increasingly dysfunctional, sadly, I think we will see more and more of actions like this where victims have been tormented by those who are broken.

    Often, broken homes=broken children. Even in the face of divorce and turmoil, parents MUST eventually remember that they are adults and someone is looking at them and they must strive to heal their homes regardless of whether or not mommy and daddy are together and not continue in the dysfunction that hurt their homes.

    Comment by Tshaka Armstrong — October 5, 2010 @ 8:59 am

  21. Please check out http://makeitbetterproject.org/ this is a project started by LGBT youth who decided not to wait for it to get better. While I applaud Dan Savages desire and work at reaching out to kids I think the Make It Better Project is a truly empowering message for kids that they shouldn’t and don’t have to wait for it to get better.

    Comment by Kristin — October 5, 2010 @ 9:38 am

  22. Annie, I believe that these kids do know it is wrong…what is broken are their boundaries due to becoming desensitized by media. When did it become OK to watch someone have sex? When did it become OK to take pictures of private parts? When did it become OK to blow someones head off? Video game, billboards, movies..etc gets our kids and teens OK with all of this..sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly. The average kid sees 8,000 murders on TV before they go to middle school!College kids ared dealing with porn addiction. I for one am sick of how the images our children are bombarded with are obviously influencing our society. When are we as parents and educators going to say enough is enough?!!!

    Comment by Lori Lite/ Stress Free Kids — October 6, 2010 @ 12:05 pm

  23. Thank you for writing this. I’ve got my own “IT Gets Better” post half written but I’ve been sitting on it, unsure it will make any difference at all. Your post reminds me that in order for our culture to change we all need to speak up, get up, act up. Thanks for inspiring me to do just that.

    Comment by Amy Oscar — October 7, 2010 @ 2:18 pm

  24. Amy, It ALL makes a difference. Finish your It Gets Better post. You never know who might need to hear exactly what you have to say. Just do it, please.

    Comment by Annie — October 7, 2010 @ 2:22 pm

  25. I strongly believe that when kids are neglected by parents who pursue a career (or just enough money), face a daily barrage of bad news in every form of media, are subject to continuous manipulation attempts by, well, pretty much everybody, and watch an endless sequence of shows and films showing senseless acts, it’s not surprising they don’t see the problem in what they do.

    It’s really important you’ve decided to blog after all, Annie. I’ll do my best to help you get rid of this problem.

    Love,
    Ronit

    Comment by Family Matters — October 7, 2010 @ 8:51 pm

  26. Ditto to Amy #23…thought you read my tweet about same, as I was in a similar conundrum, trying to find the light in the dark, so thought you were answering ME ;-)

    Guess I’m Amy #25 (the ‘other Amy’) ALSO stalled in analysis paralysis & a bounty of resources having revised my revision of my original, sigh. Just so much to say on this topic and so proud of you for nailing the ‘empathy card missing from the deck’ conceptual snapshot.

    Speaking of which, neuroscience article discussing some of this brain based nuance (via Marjie Knudsen) worth a read in terms of the “brain rules” that could be “broken” and need mending in responses w/kids: http://blog.oregonlive.com/themombeat/2010/10/john_medina_brain_rules_for_ba.html

    Thanks again so much for this post, with 4100+ eyeballs & climbing, it clearly struck a chord with us all…

    Comment by Amy Jussel, Shaping Youth — October 7, 2010 @ 10:12 pm

  27. Bravo. I think it starts so young, when parents don’t teach their preschoolers that other kids’ feelings matter, even if they don’t “know” those kids and have just met them on the playground.

    Comment by Jerseygirl89 — October 11, 2010 @ 1:28 pm

  28. Glad that you used your voice on this issue. Keep it up.

    Comment by Danny Ferguson — October 12, 2010 @ 8:39 am

  29. Thank you for your comments about teaching empathy. I had my children a little later in life. I do teach my kids empathy, but sometimes I feel I am the only parent in town that does. When I’m out & about with my kids, I frequently see younger parents actually encouraging their kids to be aggressive toward other children. The remark I hear these parents make over & over is, “I’d rather my kid be the bully, then get bullied.” My kids are still little enough that bullies are not a huge problem as of yet. But I worry about the near future, as I look at their classmates and see kids getting older w/o any idea of empathy yet & I see a school that refuses to address bullying as a problem.

    Comment by Mary — October 17, 2010 @ 5:51 pm

  30. I am so fortunate to have met one of the most Gracious lady friend Mrs. Mary Lou; who have just sent to me the URL to this website to read about this conversation on ‘Bullying’ Amongst ‘Teenagers’

    I am a modern philosopher; published author/writer and Key Note Speaker. The philosophies that I Study;Cultivate and Teach are: Human Energies; Human Energies Wisdom; Human Energies Wisdom Education and Human Energies-Development Wisdom Education.

    From a Human Energies approach; Bullying is the result of the education which ‘WE’ as one community; have allowed our respective community children mind-energies to be exposed to. “To this note” both the Bullies and their respective Victims; are all Victims of Yours and mines adults human inabilities to Create and to Nurture Community Energies. Should I say shame on us all; ‘NO’. Why…? Because that friends like Mary Lou and myself are in the process of building-to-Launch “Seld-sevelopment Wisdom Institutes”; with the Core ‘Vision’ to offer; “Human-development wisdom education courses; The Renewal of the Human mind-energies courses; Character-Development Wisdom Education courses to all Teenager at “Free” membership charge to Teenagers.

    I do like to ask you to support Character-Development Wisdom Education for Teenagert.

    I will always visit this site; so I could contribute to Your work and effort to offer Human-Development wisdom education to all Teenagers of the World.

    Comment by Jansenius T. Lange Jr. — October 20, 2010 @ 10:33 am

  31. I agree with bullying is a reflection of our very intolerant, violent society. I don’t buy into the divorce comment as my personal experience is that some of the most judgmental, violence condoning people are still married and many people I have meet have amicably and lovingly ended their marriages. How do governments role model conflict resolution and tolerance? The golden rule should be \treat others as THEY wish to be treated.\(Sometimes it is different than we think! :) )

    Comment by Kimberly — October 21, 2010 @ 7:51 pm

  32. Don’t stop talking about it, writing about it, speaking up about it! I had to pull my daughter out of school when she was 12 and homeschool her for 2 years because she was bullied so badly she told me she wanted to kill herself. The school counselor and teachers agreed with me that removing her was best, that there was really nothing they could do to stop the bullying.

    NOTHING THEY COULD DO

    My daughter nearly took her own life, but there was nothing they could do.

    She was chubbier than some of the other kids, shy and sweet – the perfect victim for bullies. She is 22 now, in college, successful and seemingly confident. But she doubts herself, has few close friends, thinks that everyone is judging her, has trust issues. The scars are still there. I don’t know that they’ll ever really go away.

    Don’t stop. Somebody’s daughter needs to be saved.

    Comment by Tricia — October 26, 2010 @ 7:04 pm

  33. Broken kids? More like, broken parents. We’ve talked to our boys since they were old enough to talk back about what words mean, and what they can do. The kids are broken because no one is educating them. While I’ve resolved myself to seeing that it is now OUR responisibility to collectively parent an entire generation of children who aren’t getting guidance from their parents, I still have a hard time swallowing that parents don’t engage their kids in theses issues.

    Comment by bentspoon — November 2, 2010 @ 9:15 am

  34. I don’t believe these kids are broken. And I do believe they genuinely don’t understand how hurtful their behaviors are. Broken suggests something that can’t be changed, but I think they can be. All I could think of while reading your post were the nasty political ads we’ve suffered through for the past few weeks. And the hateful behavior we see daily in the news (perpetrated by adults) towards gay people, poor people, immigrants, minorities, women and anyone not in a power situation. This is what our children see and this is what they emulate. Until we, as a society, start teaching our children that we are all valuable and important and that it’s not ok to be cruel to ANYONE, we’re not going to change. By the way, I challenge everyone who has commented to look back on their childhood. Can any of us truly say that we weren’t ever mean to another person without any cause at all? I believe that bullying is made easier by the pervasive presence of technology (i.e. you can’t go home and shut your door to get away from bullies), but I’m not sure it’s any more of an issue than it was in generations past. Teen suicide isn’t a new phenomenon. If anything, we’re in a better place because people are finally paying attention. I appreciate posts like this because it does get people really thinking.

    Comment by Christy @morethanmommy — November 3, 2010 @ 11:49 am

  35. The recent news of these suicides has brought all bullying back to the forefront. While these recent indicidents were of a specific nature, targeted at certain types of people, let’s always remember that bullying takes many forms. I say this so that bullying won’t be, possibly, diminished in some people’s minds as this only happens to people of certain orientations. I was bullied as a kid because I was smaller, weaker, and wouldn’t fight back. As I grew older, and grew bigger, some of it lessened and my involvement in school activities seemed to make me more “acceptable”. But the scars were still with me. While bullying was not the only cause, it was one of them, and I tried to commit suicide when I was 17. As I look back, it was more of a cry for help than a true desire to stop living, but I wanted so much torment to stop.

    So, let’s watch for bullying no matter what. Taunting on the playground by young kids–I was called Jelly Belly, not because I was fat (I wasn’t), but because it rhymed with my last name! It affected my self-worth. Or kids who dress differently, whether because of style or economic reasons. Or kids who are struggling to figure out who they are.

    And let’s watch out for it as adults. I have to admit that I have been guilty of making fun of others, thinking I was being funny, but now wondering how much my words may have hurt. As parents, we have a huge responsibility, too. I have always tried to only use postive, affirming words with my daughters. I have seen too much of the other kind from “friends”.

    I pledge to bully no more and encourage everyone to check themselves as well.

    Comment by Dave Kelly — November 19, 2010 @ 11:55 am

  36. [...] Broken kids are breaking all of us | Annie Fox’s Blog Filed under: education — coopmike48 @ 8:41 am Broken kids are breaking all of us | Annie Fox’s Blog. [...]

    Pingback by Broken kids are breaking all of us | Annie Fox’s Blog « Parents 4 democratic Schools — November 24, 2010 @ 9:41 am

  37. I often remind my kids about how to not say hurtful things to others. For them it may seem just a joke but for other people, it’ll be bothersome and painful. We can probably stop the problem of bullying if only every parent would create this awareness to their children and if schools would impose a clear punishment for those who commit the hurtful act. If we ignore anything about it, we will never know if our children will be the next victim and it might just be too late to save them. Let’s open our eyes shall we?

    Comment by Melinda @ Turning Winds — January 12, 2011 @ 6:56 pm

  38. Sad to say but you are sooo right. Also, it’s not just other children doing it to other children. I have had numerous arguements with adults, yup adults over this same exact thing. They too say it’s not a big deal, then why on earth are these young children killing themself? It is a huge deal and problem and believe it or not, those children whom are bullies are learning it first from HOME! Maybe not their parents but also family members also take part in creating these tormentors, these children to be cruel to others, they also hear it from adults thats they look up to as role models. Adults truly need to take full responsibility for their actions and teaching the younger generation more love and acceptance and tolerance.

    Comment by Mari — January 19, 2011 @ 9:03 pm

  39. Hi Annie!
    How can any parent not take full responsibility for TEACHING living values and principles to their kids?! That is where, sadly, all trouble begins: parents “absentism” in their own home… Thank you for your WONDERFUL work!! Big fan!

    Comment by Adriana — July 1, 2011 @ 5:07 pm

  40. [...] http://blog.anniefox.com/2010/10/02/broken-kids-are-breaking-all-of-us Filed Under: articles, blogs, reading, responsibility [...]

    Pingback by We Are In Deep Doo-Doo — October 10, 2011 @ 4:47 am

  41. [...] blog post written by parenting expert Annie Fox, last year  Broken kids are Breaking all of us  she quotes an interview with Justin Patchin of the Cyberbullying Research Center …on the [...]

    Pingback by Kyle Sandilands - The Bully - What message we are sending? | Wisemothers — November 26, 2011 @ 2:19 am

  42. [...] study published last May in the International Journal of Critical Pedagogy * Annie Fox‘s “Broken Kids Are Breaking All of Us” links to Ellen Degeneris’s powerful videotaped statement about bullying and suicide * The [...]

    Pingback by Fixing hate online and offline: All of us needed - Connect Safely — April 29, 2013 @ 2:20 pm

  43. […] will be kids” is no excuse for peer-harassment. Over the past decade, we have learned some heart-breaking lessons about the tragic consequences of unstopped harassment. Our education has come through the […]

    Pingback by Every person who bugs you is not a “bully” | Annie Fox's Blog — April 29, 2014 @ 12:28 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Note: If there is no place to enter the secret code, please click on the button below.

 

Find Annie Fox: Find Annie on Facebook Find Annie on Twitter Find Annie on Pinterest Find Annie on YouTube Find Annie on Google+ Find Annie on LinkedIn Find Annie on Goodreads Find Annie on Quora