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Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

Podcast: Fitting In vs. Being Yourself, Can we have it both ways?

October 17, 2010

Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers

"Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers" by Ronit Baras

According to humanistic psychology founder Abraham Maslow we’re all driven by needs. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the most basic ones are our physiological needs (air, food, water, sleep, sex, etc.). No surprises there. If you’re consistently not getting what you need in this category, nothing else matters.

After our survival needs are taken care of, then come our need for Safety, Love/Belonging, Esteem, and finally Self-Actualization. It’s all pretty interesting stuff and can be very helpful when you think about human behavior. Most behavior is driven by a need. The most outrageous, over-the-top and often inexplicable behavior is driven by  intensely felt emotions tied to these needs. When a kid or a teen acts out, instead of solely addressing what the child is doing, effective parents take a short cut and directly explore the need behind the behavior.

It all sounds like a solid system. Just get your needs met and be happy. Simple. Except what happens when one need is in conflict with another? For example the need for acceptance (which is huge for t(w)eens) vs. the need to be unique, also a big one with middle and high school students. That  kind of conflict could spell trouble and often does.

My guest today, Ronit Baras, who has studied and written about these conflicting needs and how they affect the life choices of adults and teens. Ronit is the co-creator of the “Be Happy in LIFE” life coaching program and the author of the two self help books, Be Special, Be Yourself for Teenagers and In the Outback with Jasmine Banks.

Ronit is an experienced educator as well as an international speaker. Among her clients are private institutes, schools, universities, public organizations, government bodies, educational associations, financial corporations.

For her community work, Ronit Baras has been nominated twice for “Australian of the Year.”

Listen to our conversation right here:

If you have iTunes, you can subscribe to this podcast in the iTunes Store.

Or, you can download an MP3 version here.

Upcoming guests include:

Katherine Ellison, author of the memoir, Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention

Sean Buvala, author of DaddyTeller: How to be a Hero to Your Kids and Teach Them What’s Really Important By Telling Them One Simple Story at a Time

Dr. Karyn Purvis, co-author (with Dr. David Cross, Wendy Lyons Sunshine) of The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family

Judith Warner, author of Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety and We’ve Got Issues: Children and Parents in the Age of Medication

Rachel Simon, author of Riding The Bus With My Sister and The House on Teacher’s Lane

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