unplugging

Sometimes you’ve just gotta get out

December 1, 2012

David and I work at home. We’re in the house a lot. In our offices. In our minds. Ensnared deep within the inter webs. That’s why I sometime feel an intense need to break out of IN for some quality time OUT… way out.

Today the need was great. It’s been raining… a lot. But David and I had a window between 1- 3 pm to escape before the next edition of the Pineapple Express (aka atmospheric river) slammed into San Anselmo. So we laced up our hiking boots and headed for the hills. A five mile drive brought us to the Pine Mountain Road trailhead, a 1.5 mile hike brought us to Carson Falls. Here’s what awaited us…

Is this Middle Earth?

Trees blanketed in moss

Carson Falls, putting on a show

Impressive from any angle

C'mon, admit it. This is cool!

It was a great Saturday adventure. And the rain kept its word by not starting up again until after we came home. Which, by the way, feels like the perfect place to be right now. See, it’s not that I don’t enjoy being inside. It’s just that sometimes we have to unplug and get out.

Filed under: Parenting — Tags: Carson Falls, Fairfax, hiking, Marin County, photography, unplugging — Annie @ 7:25 pm

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Back to school, back to social garbage!

August 23, 2012

So, summer’s winding down. I broke my arm, but at least I was enjoying a bike ride when it happened. Hopefully you didn’t have that kind of break. Instead, I hope you and your kids shared some quality, unplugged time and reconnected, as a family.

If school hasn’t already resumed in your community, it will soon. On the plus side, that means your children start a new chapter with new opportunities to learn and grow, academically, creatively and socially. A positive attitude from you goes a long way in easing any of the kids’ nervousness or anxiety about the new school year.

Maybe I let it slide last year, but this year, I'm saying NO!

Unfortunately, for many kids, back-to-school also means heading back into the same sea of social garbage from whence they escaped in June. And thinking about all of that is stressful, as you can see from this email from an 11-year old who is worried about what’s in store for her:

I’m going into 7th grade and there are these girls in my grade that think they are better than everyone. All last year, they judged me because I like this one boy that likes me back. I think they are just jealous but they made up this rumor telling people that I am jealous of them! I’m just average. But they think that school is for getting boyfriends and being rich! (They each have like 7 boys now!!) School is starting next week. Please HELP ME!!
—Alone and Scared

Dear Alone and Scared,

Sometimes the people around us are not very nice. You don’t need me to tell you that it’s hard to relax and enjoy yourself when people are judging you. These girls may believe that talking about you and giving you a hard time, is “no big deal” or that somehow you deserve to be treated this way. But they’re so wrong. Cruel’s not cool. What they’re doing is hurtful and not OK. Maybe if someone told them to “Stop the hating” they’d wake up and change their behavior. Or maybe not.

You signed your letter “Alone and Scared.” I get that you’re scared, but you’re not alone. There are adults who care about you. And other kids too. If this situation starts up again, let your parents know what’s going on. They can help turn this around. Talk to a teacher or have your parents call the school and set up a meeting with these girls and their parents.

I know this sounds like a bold move, and it is! But I also know that you have what it takes to stand up for yourself. If you stay silent and don’t get adults (at home and at school) involved now, chances are pretty good that this situation is going to escalate throughout 7th grade and beyond. (That means things are going to get worse.) On the other hand, but if you push through your fear, and be brave enough to get the help you need, you can help yourself and any other kids who’ve been targeted. You can also help to change your whole school!

Go for it and have a great school year!

Filed under: Parenting,Teens — Tags: back to school, bullying, Middle School, Stop the hate, unplugging — Annie @ 1:40 pm

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July 11, 2012

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This is Part 2 of my 4-part Bing Summer of Doing blog series. If you just got here and missed Part 1, let me explain. I’m the Bing Summer of Doing ‘expert‘ of the week. Part of this awesome responsibility involves blogging about the word of the day. Today’s word is unplugging. The irony of writing about unplugging while plugged in doesn’t escape me, but if I wrote on the back of this envelope, you wouldn’t see it, so…

Bing Summer of Doing – Pull the plug and.. DO

Winnie-the-Pooh said, “Sometimes I sit and think. And sometimes I just sit.” He also called himself a bear of “little brain” but I disagree. Just “sitting” is the best thing you can do at certain times. And if you’re just sitting in a park, on the beach, on a fallen tree in a forest… you’re probably in a good place, mentally and emotionally.

I’ve noticed that it’s summer. Funny how a whole season can sneak up on you like that. Actually, it’s more scary than funny. Sometimes, my time on the computer seems endless and I feel like I live in a casino – no windows or evidence the earth is turning. But I see that it’s beautiful outside (yes I do have a window) so I’ve decided to unplug. Not forever, just for some significant part of each day – as a way to grab back some balance in my life.

What am I unplugging from? How about these three things for starters? Negativity. Routine. Technology.

Unplugging from destructive emotions: Instead of marinating your soul in anger, frustration, jealousy when the mood strikes, how about simply recognizing the feeling? And then… take a few slow deep breaths. (INHALE s-l-o-w-l-y and evenly through your nose. Relax your jaw and open your mouth.) Then EXHALE s-l-o-w-l-y and evenly through your mouth. Repeat. …. again. Again. Now smile (a half smile will do). Good. You’ve just unplugged from an upset and hopefully you’ve done it before causing any damage. Nice going.

Unplugging from routine: Routines offer security. They can also be fun and creativity drains. Fight back by changing something you’ve been doing automatically every day. Try a miniscule shake-up like brushing your teeth with the opposite hand. Dang, unplugging from your routine could be as simple as sitting in a different place at the kitchen table. Or skipping the table altogether and taking your salad or sandwich out on the front steps. There are so many ways to dance through your day, why not make up some new moves? When you do, you’ll find your usual dance partners have to come up with some new moves of their own.

Unplugging from technology: Life isn’t virtual. It’s real. Simple truth. So easy to forget. Years ago, a storm blew out our power for 5 days. No school. No computers. No work. Me and David and the kids read aloud from a big book of obscure folktales. We paused at crucial plot points and took turns guessing what could happen next. We acted out alternative endings. We played Crazy Eights by candlelight. We roasted marshmallows. We all shared memories from childhood. And by the second or third day, we were eating outrageous ice cream sundaes for breakfast (hey, we couldn’t let all the Chunky Monkey melt, could we?). I was more than a little disappointed when the lights came back on and we all plugged in again. But you don’t need a power outage to take a healthy break from social media and the rest of it. I’m not saying you should become incommunicado for a week and freak out your friends and family. I’m just saying that by spending most of your waking hours with your head in a screen, you miss a lot of the juice of life. That’s just a waste, because the real stuff — the shared joys and disappointments between friends and family — need to be experienced face to face, not just via text and FB posts.

So I’m unplugging today. When I mentioned this to David, he said, “So you’re not going to do anything?” Wrong! I’m going to do plenty of stuff… not sure what yet, but I know, for sure that I’m not going to check my email 75 times. Tweet. or Surf. Just for today. And see what unfolds when I push back the digital infringement and make some room for other things. I’ll report back later. In the meantime, how about if you slowly take your hands off the keyboard, step back from your computer and go outside and play with a friend?