Annie Fox's Blog...

Thoughts about teens, tweens, parenting and this adventure of living on Earth in the 21st century.

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens and teens.

How do I change my “mean girl” reputation?

October 27, 2014

My days as a pumpkin are over. Now I'm just a squash.

My days as a pumpkin are over. Now I’m just a squash.

The Girls’ Q&A Book on Friendship blog tour bus pulled up in front of EncouragePlay.com. On the front porch, beside a carved-too-early Jack-o-lantern, former school counselor, Janine Halloran and I enjoyed fresh pumpkin muffins and apple cider. Then she threw me this tricky question from a former student:

“I have a bad reputation in school for being mean but I’d like to change it. How can I do that?”

Janine: What would you say to that girl?

Annie: It sounds like you now understand how your reputation grew from your not being careful with other people’s feelings. I’m really proud of you for realizing you are responsible for your behavior and that you want to start making better choices. The first step is to apologize to everyone you knowingly hurt with your words and your actions (online and off). Talk to each person separately. (This might take a while and it might not be an easy conversation to have, but you can do it!)
To each person, you might say something like this, “I’m very sorry for what I did to you. It was mean and I want to apologize.” Then close your mouth and listen to what the person says. They may still be angry with you for things you did. (And they may have a right to be angry!) Please try to stay calm and not to get angry back. Just listen to what they have to say. You may learn a lot from what you hear. Even if the person is so surprised by your apology that he or she doesn’t know what to say, that’s OK. You have given them something to think about. You might just leave it at that… Or you might add this: “I’m trying to be a nicer person. I hope you give me a chance to prove it.”

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What experiences have you had trying to get people to see you in a new way?

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Girls’ Q&A Book on Friendship Blog Tour

October 13, 2014

Let’s talk about reality. What is real? Girls’ friendship issues are real. So is the damage they can cause.

The Girls' Q&A Book on Friendship. Up with compassion and social courage. Down with social garbage.

The Girls’ Q&A Book on Friendship. Up with compassion and social courage. Down with social garbage.

The Girls’ Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friends without the DRAMA is also real. I wrote it. Erica De Chavez illustrated it, brilliantly. And it’s now available in print and on Kindle. No Kindle? No problem. It can be downloaded and read beautifully on anything, except maybe a microwave. If you’re not in the US, you can get the book on whatever Amazon site you usually shop on. My desire to criss-cross the world helping girls with their friendship challenges is real.  So is the need to reduce the social garbage kids slog through daily, online and off. My book can make things better for tweens and the adults who care about them. But alas, I had no budget for plane fares, hotels, food (and I do like to eat). Life is not virtual, but book tours can be. So… I got a virtual bus…

Girls' Q&A Book Blog Tour Bus. Fueled by good will and good friendship strategies. Zero carbon emissions.

Girls’ Q&A Book Blog Tour Bus. Fueled by good  friendship strategies. Zero social garbage emissions.

Last week I hit the virtual road answering real friendship questions and letting girls and parents and teachers know that when it comes to curtailing the spread of Mean Girl Disease, we can do better. Here’s my itinerary… Pop in any time. I hope to see you and your girls. And don’t worry about expired dates. I’m still there. Ah… the beauty of virtual existence.

December 10th>Deborah Gilboa’s blog at AskDrG.Com

December 5th>“What Really Matters” podcast at VickyandJen.com

November 19th>Amy Fortney Parks’ blog at Wise-EdServices.com

November 18>Sarah Newton’s blog at SarahNewton.org

November 13>Amy Jussel’s blog at ShapingYouth.org

November 7th>Nuala O’Hanlon’s blog at KeystoneCreations.com.au

November 5th>Megan Hunter’s blog at UnhookedMedia.com

November 3rd>Vicky Thornton and Jen Rehberger’s blog at VickyAndJen.blogspot.com

October 29th>Wendy Morelli’s blog at Tweenhood.ca

October 27th>Janine Hallorin’s blog at EncouragePlay.com

October 24th>Deborah McNelis’s blog at BrainInsights.blogspot.com

October 23rd>Beth Engleman’s blog at MommyOnAShoestring.com

October 20th>Jean Tracy’s blog at ParentingSkillsBlog.com

October 17th> Drawp blog at Drawp.it

October 16th> Louise Masin Sattler’s blog at LouiseSattler.me

October 15th> Beth Onufrak’s blog at DrBethKids.com

October 13th> Carl Grody’s blog at GrodyFamilyCounseling.com

October 13th> Wendy Young’s blog  at Kidlutions.com

October 13th> Erin Harris’ blog at CrisisPrevention.com

October 10th> Sarah Newton’s blog at SarahNewton.com

October 10th> Dr. Amy Alamar’s blog at Parenting for the Genius

October 6th> Dr. Kimberly Palmiotto’s blog at Coastal Education Services

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If you have friendship questions, post them to COMMENTS and I’ll answer them here. No reason my own blog shouldn’t be part of the blog tour too!

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Teaching Kids to Be Good People Blog Tour

February 28, 2013

As a published author, of course I know about book tours. Not that I’ve ever actually been on one, but I’ve attended other authors’ events at Book Passage. So, yeah. I understand the concept. What I didn’t get, until recently, is “What’s a blog tour?” Turns out it’s pretty much the same thing as a book tour without the books, the bookstore, or the fans eager to buy an autographed copy.

Not all teachers are parents, but all parents are teachers

Since I’ve got a new book I’m rather proud of and zero publicity budget, starting today,  I’m on the (virtual) road with the Teaching Kids to Be Good People Blog Tour (Feels like we need a theme song. I’ll work on it.) At each of the nineteen stops along the tour, there is no stump speech. You, my dear readers, will be treated to totally new and thought provoking content to help us 21st century parents raise nice kids who also do good in the world.

Here’s where you can find me and when:

I know it's a virtual tour, but I want this bus!

Teaching Kids to Be Good People Blog Tour Itinerary

Got the T-shirt:

February 28 – Suzanna Narducci’s blog at TweenParent.com

February 28 –  Heather Chauvin’s blog (video interview)

March 5 – Kelly Hirt’s blog My Twice Baked Potato

March 7 – Jean Tracy MSS’ Parenting Skills Blog

March 10 –  Jeanne Demer’s The Ruby Books

March 16 –  Rick Ackerly’s blog at Genius in Children

March 18 – Margit Crane and Barbara Dab’s Good Enough Parenting Radio Show

March 18 –  Sharon Silver ‘s blog at Proactive Parenting

March 19 – Families Magazine Southwest (UK)

March 20 –  Sue McNamara at 6seconds.org

March 21 – Kristen Ploetz’ Little Lodestar

March 27 – AK StoutDeb Evans‘ Social Geek Radio 6 pm (PT)

March 28 –  Bruce Sallan’s #DadChat “Doing the right thing is good karma” (on Twitter) 6 PM (PT) Enter TweetChat room

March 29 – Lynnee Jimenez’s ClubChicaCircle.com

April 1 – Melissa Wardy’s blog at PigtailPals

April 8 – Keith Rispin’s Parenting Old School blog as well as Keith’s Ed Tech blog

April 15 – Carrie Goldman’s blog Portrait of an Adoption

April 19 –  Sarah Newton’s blog at Sarah Newton.com

April 29 –  Dr. Laura Markham’s blog at Aha Parenting

A big thank you  to all my blog tour hosts. These are top-notch folks. All of them are authors, educators, clinicians, and/or parent coaches who do truly excellent work supporting kids, parents, and families.  I’m honored to be on the same team with each of them and I encourage you to explore their books and services. We’re all here together to help each other as we help our kids.

OK, the blog tour starts now. Wait!! How’s my hair look? Oh, right. It doesn’t matter. :O))

Happy Parenting! (And if you feel the urge, please sign the guest book.)

We're in this together!

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